According to AICN, the movie “Blood Car” is the “Retarded Good-Time Movie of the Year”, and the makings of said movie are so proud of that endorsement that they’ve slapped the blurb across their latest movie poster. So does this mean that when I called “Meet the Spartans” the “Biggest Piece of Shit Movie of the Year” that I can expect to see it on the film’s DVD cover? Oh man, I’m so psyched! But I digress. Onto “Blood Car”.

Here’s what it’s about:

In the near future, gas is an astronomical $40.00 a gallon, and Archie Andrews (Mike Brune) has definitely had enough. Archie, a nerdy schoolteacher and vegan with a thing for wheatgrass, is determined to find an alternative energy source for his car. While experimenting, Archie cuts himself, and discovers that all his car needs is blood. Human blood.

The only one in town who can afford to drive, Archie attracts the attention of sex-crazed Denise (Katie Rowlett). As Archie fulfills Denises need for transportation, he satisfies his ever-expanding libido. Meanwhile, the sweet Wheatgrass Girl (Anna Chlumsky), who loves Archie for who he truly is, watches helplessly as Archie is devoured by lust. In order for Archie to continue to attract Denise with his car, he must continue to find a never-ending supply of blood. And unbeknownst to Archie, he is observed by government agents anxious to learn the secret of how his special engine worksagents who will make Archie face the ultimate decision.

Holy crap. Anna Chlumsky. From “My Girl”. In a movie about a car that uses blood in lieu of gasoline. That has been called “the retarded good-time movie of the year”. I think my head is about to explode.

Trailer and images from the film’s Official Site:

more “Blood Car” images at our movie gallery