James Bond: Product Placement Whore

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When it comes to selling out, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Michael Bay ain’t got nothing on Bond. James Bond. The super duper secret agent for Her Majesty’s Secret Service has been hawking products out the ass, selling everything from cars to wristwatches to condoms. (Okay, maybe not so much the last one. But definitely the first two. Then again, considering how much poon Bond gets in every movie, maybe pitching condoms wouldn’t be so far off…) In the upcoming “Quantum of Solace”, Bond will be pitching a record £50 million Pounds (that’s about $82 million buckaroos to you yanks). Holy mother. Basically, “Quantum of Solace” could become the biggest flop at the box office known to man, and the film would still be a commercial success for the investors. How’s that for a guarantee?

But if you thought this is a first for the suave secret agent, you’re wronger than someone who is always wrong. Bond whored out for the princely sum of £44 million pounds ($72 million dollars) in “Die Another Day”, so much so that some critics dubbed the film “Buy Another Day”. And for the first Bond movie starring Daniel Craig, the previous “Casino Royale”, the producers apparently felt a little tinge of shame, and cut back just a little on the whoring — £36 million pounds ($59 million dollars), including an odious script-pitch for Omega watch that went something like this (via The Scotsman):

In one cringe-making scene, Vesper Lynd, the leading Bond girl, quizzed 007 on his choice of timepiece: “Rolex?” “No,” he replied, “Omega”, a choice that would have had Ian Fleming spinning in his grave.

Smooth, James, smooth. Now what brand of condom did you use to bang Vesper Lynd with again?

Below: James Bond on your side? Priceless. James Bond’s gun? $320 at K-Mart for a limited time.

Author: Nix

Editor/Writer at BeyondHollywood.com. Likes: long walks on the beach and Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic movies. Dislikes: 3D, shaky cam, and shaky cam in 3D. Got a site issue? Wanna submit Movie/TV news? Or to email me in regards to anything on the site, you can do so at nix (at) beyondhollywood.com.