Jessica Biel is Effin’ Engaged

The full title of the movie is “F**king Engaged”, but you can expect plenty of asterisks in the title cause, gosh, Americans aren’t ready to spell out “f**king”! (Hell, even I’m not doing it! God, we suck.) Anyways, former “Seventh Heaven” teenager Jessica Biel is all grown up and engaged. Effin’ engaged, as it turns out. The actress, soon to be seen in Joe Carnahan’s “The A-Team”, will star and produce a raunchy comedy called “F**king Engaged”, a movie title that will surely be changed by the time the film approaches production (or if they’re slightly brave, until the release date approaches, but make no mistake about it, it’s gonna get changed).

Written by Julia Brownell, the comedy will star Biel as one-half of a couple (the sexy, fantasy-worthy half) who make a pact to have sex every day leading up to their wedding day so they won’t turn into their crusty old parents who, being parents, rarely have sex, argue all day, and sit around the kitchen eating pie. Wait, that’s an old episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond”, nevermind.

Biel has been making quite the name for herself in a variety of films, including the controversial “Powder Blue” (aka The Jessica Biel Stripper Movie), where she played a distraught stripper who defied Hollywood convention and actually — gasps — strips. There was also the period movie “Easy Virtue”, but then you probably didn’t see that, either. She’s got “The A-Team” coming up, which you’ll probably see, though you’ll most likely skip over “Nailed” and “Valentine’s Day”, and really, who could blame ya?

Effin' A.