Joaquin Phoenix Adamant Hip Hop Career is Not a Joke

Dammit, get off Joaquin Phoenix’s back! No, he’s not trying to pull an elaborate Andy Kaufman-esque gag on the world of entertainment! Yes, he really is quitting acting to become a hip-hop rapper! And no, for the last time, he will not sleep with your sister no matter how many times you ask him! Or so says the bearded one during a new round of interviews for the romantic drama “Two Lovers”, which Joaquin Phoenix claims is his last movie. Like, ever. Because, remember, he’s quit the profession of acting to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a black guy — er, I mean, rapper. Like, for realsies, man.

Phoenix tells the AP:

“I don’t know where that comes from,” Phoenix said. “If it comes from people that I’ve had a falling out with, that are (ticked) off at me?”

The video shows Phoenix, in a long, scraggly beard, rapping nearly inaudibly and ends with him losing his footing and falling off the stage. It was an inauspicious start, but Phoenix was adamant that his hip-hop career is real.

“There’s not a hoax,” Phoenix said. “Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that’s possible, but that’s certainly not my intention.”

I like the fact that Phoenix talks in sentences like, “Might I be ridiculous?” That kills me. I’m gonna use that when someone accuses me of something stupid. Just watch me.

Anyhoo. So is Phoenix still trying to punk’d the whole country? I don’t know, but that beard of his is pretty damn serious looking, I’ll tell you that. Plus, who wouldn’t want to quit acting after they’ve been in a Gwyneth Paltrow movie? I mean, she named her kid Apple, for God’s sake. The girl is nuts.

Below: Nothing says you’re serious about a life-defining career change than penciling the words “Bye Good” to your knuckles with non-permanent marker.