John Fusco to Ninja Kick Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remake

John Fusco knows kung fu. No, really. According to this Variety article announcing the screenwriter’s hiring for the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” remake, the writer has been practicing kung fu since he was 12 years old. Which would make him ideal to write the TMNT reboot. Sort of. Anyways, it’s not as if he hasn’t written a martial arts movie before, having scripted the Jet Li-Jackie Chan collaboration “Forbidden Kingdom” last year. Before that, he was mostly known as the guy behind the “Young Guns” movies.

Fusco will have the task of bringing the adventures of Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and their master Splinter back to the big screen. One can only assume that much pizza consumption and oddball “teen” behavior ensues. The turtles are supposed to be teenagers, after all. Then again, Fusco could make one of them an emo and have another one be into hip hop music. He could go around calling his fellow turtles bitches and whatnot. Just a thought.

Aside from Fusco, the Mirage Studios film doesn’t have any other talent attached to it. Word is the film will be live-action, like the successful kids franchise from the ’80s and ’90s that made over $323 million worldwide for New Line Cinema. That was back in the day, though. The kids nowadays have no idea who the teenage mutant ninja turtles are, and it’ll be interesting to find out if Mirage wants to tailor this latest incarnation for the kiddies or for fans of the comics, which were decidedly not for kids. Hiring Fusco doesn’t necessarily say which direction the movie will go, as Fusco can be pretty violent (the aforementioned “Young Guns” movies) but also rather innocent (the aforementioned “Forbidden Kingdom” and the animated “Spirit”).

The reboot is expected to ninja kick the box office in 2011.

Below: “Wait, which one are you again? Donatello? Raphael? Aw, man, this is hard.”