Katherine Heigl Tired of Getting Knocked Up, Escapes Sect

Katherine Heigl is like Kate Hudson, with one exception: instead of being satisfied with doing one crappy, derivative romcom a year (usually starring The Shirtless One), she makes an attempt to, you know, stretch and junk. Heigl’s latest stab at Oscar (or a nice facsimile) glory is starring in and producing “Escape”. The film will be based on the true story of Carolyn Jessop, and nothing says glory like a tragic true story of some lady no one has ever heard of.

Jessop was born into the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, and at 18 was married off to a man 32 years her senior (damn, where do I sign up?). After knocking out 8 kids, and at 35, decides she’s had enough. Man, I’d have given up after four kids, but then again, I have a low threshold for pain. I cry at wedding receptions, too.

According to Variety, who knows a thing or two about brainwashing sects, the real Jessop’s bestselling memoirs helped to convict LDS leader Warren Jeffs. But seriously, since when has anything with the word “Fundamentalist” attached to it turned out to be anything less than nuts?

(My Fundamentalist Church of Bloggers notwithstanding, of course. We only sacrifice virgins every fourth day of the month. Why? Because it just makes good Pagan God worshipping sense, folks. Where do you think I get my power of blog?)

Oh yeah, here’s a really nice picture of Katherine Heigl. Yes, I’d knocked that thing up, but it won’t be eight times, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Wink wink, etc.