Keanu Reeves Knows Bushido, is one of the 47 Ronin

So apparently Hollywood thinks it would be a good idea to make a movie about the legendary 47 Ronin. You know, those legendary Ronin (translation: masterless Samurai) who, after their lord is forced to commit suicide after a bit of a scuffle with another lord (thus the whole “masterless” part) decide to band together and take revenge at the expense of all else, including their lives? Well according to the trades, screenwriter Chris Morgan, who last penned “Wanted” and “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” has been given the order to tailor the script specifically for Keanu Reeves to star as one of the Ronin. We assume it won’t be the lead, who should be played by an older actor, but this is Hollywood, so… Whoa, indeed.

Variety has all your Feudal Japan movie news:

In “47 Ronin,” he will play one of the swordsmen; the group and their master are revered in Japan for their revenge attack on Dec. 14, 1702.

The film will tell a stylized version of the story, mixing fantasy elements of the sort seen in “The Lord of the Rings” pics, with gritty battle scenes akin to those in films such as “Gladiator.”

Morgan is writing the script and tailoring it so that Reeves — who’s half-Asian — can fit the role as one of the swordsmen. The intention is to begin shooting next year after a director is hired.

Well gee, as long as Reeves is half-Asian, I guess it’s hunky dorey. To be honest with you, I couldn’t care less if a white dude is playing an Asian dude in a movie about a bunch of Asian dudes. This is Hollywood, after all, and ‘sides, Tom Cruise already beat Keanu to it.

Hey, the movie could end up being good with the right director to orchestrate all the Samurai battles. If not, eh, it can’t possibly be any worst than Reeves as an emotionless alien in “The Day the Earth Stood Still” remake, could it? Dear God, that thing looks horrid. As in, Paris Hilton lacks talent but keeps thinking she can do everything horrid.

Below: Actual Japanese dudes — gasp! — re-enacting the 47 Ronin legend.