Like the Oscars? Don’t Think They’re Long Enough? You’re in Luck!

In a move designed to boost ratings and trick — er, I mean, convince your Everyday Joe to tune in, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (aka the Oscars people) have decided to expand the Best Picture category nominees from the usual five to ten nominees starting in 2010. As justification, they point to 1939, when there were 10 Best Picture nominees, including classics like “Gone With the Wind”, “Stagecoach”, and “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”.

But hey, don’t let me spoil it. Here’s what the Oscars people said (via THR):

“Suppose you had to narrow that field down to five nominees? Which of these films would you keep? Whichever five movies you selected, you’d be losing five extraordinary films,” [Academy president Sid Ganis] asked rhetorically.

Yeah, and suppose you cut out the 20-minute each dance numbers, the 50 or so honorary Oscars you give out every year to old and decaying people you couldn’t be bothered to give Oscars to when they were still working, and save junk like “Best Make-Up” or “Best Nookie” for one of those “Yeah, they’re the Oscars, but we don’t care enough about them to actually do a whole show around them” awards shows you stiff the tech people with. No takers? Eh, I tried.

In any case, what are the chances they’ll nominate something that isn’t about suicide, incest, or starring people in tight corsets anyway? Give them five additional movies to nominate, and wouldn’t they just nominate five more movies like the five they’re already nominating?

Below: See, it’s called “Dance Flick”, cause they’re making fun of dance movies. Get it? Genius!