I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m watching one of these typical slasher movies, the first thing that pops into my head is, “Man, how come there isn’t an Asian dude (or chick) to get cut in half like all these white faces? Hollywood is so damn racist! Asian guys can die in remarkably stupid and nonsensical ways just like white people, you know!” Apparently the makers of the upcoming “Friday the 13th” remake feels exactly the same way, because one look at the cast of their movie reveals a racially balanced crew of spam — er, I mean, hearty group of characters that will be taking on the new (and one presumes, improved) Jason Voorhees.
The plot, such as it is: Unstoppable masked killer Jason Voorhees returns to kill more promiscuous teens in this contemporary remake of the classic horror movie. Whitney (Amanda Righetti), Jenna (Danielle Panabaker), Trent (Travis VanWinkle), and the other counslers at Camp Crystal Lake find themselves hunted down by a machete weilding maniac known as Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears). Meanwhile Whitney’s brother Clay (Jared Padalecki) shows up looking for her, after she goes missing.
Starring Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, Derek Mears, Aaron Yoo, Arlen Escarpeta, Julianna Guill, Willa Ford, and directed by Marcus Nispel.
And yes, I am hoping that the Asian dude is your typical math nerd who can’t get laid. Also, the black guy should at least utter the line, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” at least once in the movie. Gosh, that would just rule in all sorts of ways.
P.S. If Willa Ford (the blonde in the daisy cut-offs) doesn’t die first, while engaging in gratuitously revealing coitus, I’ll be so disappointed with Michael Bay and company.
Images via Movie-infos.