Man, I sure don’t want to be an investor who has movie in the Nicolas Cage actioner “Bangkok Dangerous”. I don’t think I’ve heard a single good thing about the movie, including the news that the film won’t be screened for movie critics. Granted, “professional” movie critics who see movies for free are freeloading bastards for the most part, but the only times a studio refuses to show a movie to critics is if their movie is critic proof (anything with the word “Star Wars” in the title, for instance), or if it’s horrid, in which case they’d rather sneak it into theaters, flood the airwaves with advertising, and hope to get some suckers into the theaters. I don’t think you need me to tell you where “Bangkok Dangerous” falls in those two categories.

The film finds a hitman named Joe (Nicolas Cage) in Bangkok to pull off a series of jobs, but ends up falling for a local woman (Charlie Yeung) as well as bonding with his Thai helper. Things get complicated when Joe is double-crossed by his employer and must blast his way out of Bangkok.

The film is actually a remake of a 1999 Thai movie, directed by the same two Chinese brothers who directed the remake. Yup, you heard me. This apparently very bad remake is the product of the same people who made the apparently very good original. I myself thought the original was aiiiight, but definitely nothing to write home about. As such, how bad could this remake possibly be?

Anyhoo. Hope springs eternal, right? Well, probably not. Let’s just settle for some new images from the movie instead.

Get kocky September 5.

see the rest of the new “Bangkok Dangerous” images at our movie gallery