Give Summit Entertainment all the credit in the world. Their publicity machine for “Twilight” has been working overtime, hitting all the right places and getting all the Twilighters out there all in a frenzy just waiting to crash the film’s November 21st, 2008 opening. If this thing doesn’t open big — REALLY BIG — I’m going to eat my shoe. And Summit knows it, too, which is why they’ve already nabbed the movie rights to Stephanie Meyers’ next three books in the “Twilight” saga — “New Moon”, “Eclipse”, and the most recent, “Breaking Dawn” — and assigned “Twilight” writer Melissa Rosenberg to get to work on adapting “Moon” and “Eclipse” into screenplays. No surprise, given that rumors of a “Twilight 2” being quickly ushered into development had already surfaced last month.
For those who haven’t a clue about these “Twilight” books of which I speak, here are the cursory plots for all four of them (via Amazon.com). Why should you care? Well, you shouldn’t, really, unless you’re a parent. Or you like vampire movies about teen angst. And in case you thought these books were light reads, you’d be wrong: these things are so big, you could smack a burglar upside the head with them and put him in traction for a week! They are huge.
Bella Swan’s move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Bella’s life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Bella, the person Edward holds most dear.
All is not well between demon-magnet Bella and Edward Cullen, her vampire Romeo. An innocent papercut at Edward’s house puts Bella in grave danger when various members of the Cullen family can barely resist their hunger at the smell of blood. The Cullens promptly leave town, afraid of endangering Edward’s beloved, and Bella sinks into an overwhelming depression. Months later, she finally emerges from her funk to rebuild her life, focusing on her friendship with besotted teen Jacob from the reservation. Bella’s unhealthy enthrallment to Edward leads her into dangerous and self-destructive behavior despite her new friends, and supernatural complications are bound to reappear. Bella’s being hunted by an evil vampire, and Jacob’s adolescent male rage turns out to be incipient lycanthropy: It seems many Quileute Indians become werewolves in the presence of vampires, their natural enemies. Psychic miscommunications and angst-ridden dramatic gestures lead to an exciting page-turner of a conclusion drenched in the best of Gothic romantic excess. Despite Bella’s flat and obsessive personality, this tale of tortured demon lovers entices.
As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob — knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?
To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife have led her to the ultimate turning point. Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or to pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fates of two tribes hangs. Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating, and unfathomable, consequences. Just when the frayed strands of Bella’s life-first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse-seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed… forever?
Below: Kids, don’t try this at home. The last “Twilight” book, “Breaking Dawn”, clocks in at a whopping 768 pages!