My Bloody Valentine Remake Signs Jaime King, Goes 3-D

If the title of the latest Jaime King movie sounds familiar (”My Bloody Valentine”), that’s because it’s yet another remake of an old horror movie no one thought was ever really all that good to begin with, which means it’ll be easy to buy up the remake rights and slap on a new coat of paint and try to sell it to the dumbass MTV kids out there. Or maybe they’re going for a really great horror movie. Yeah, right. Anyhoo. The latest ’80s slasher movie to get unnecessarily raped is 1981’s “My Bloody Valentine”, this time to star Jaime King (pictured, below) and, apparently, to be shot in 3-D.

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King will star in the remake of the 1981 slasher film about a murderer who kills those who celebrate Valentine’s Day. She will play Sarah Palmer, a woman who has married her teenage sweetheart’s nemesis, and the pair have a child together. When she and her first love are reunited, it becomes clear that she still carries a torch for the man.

Patrick Lussier, who is quickly becoming the world’s biggest hack, will direct the film from a script by Zane Smith. Lussier is apparently the go-to man for totally unnecessary sequels to moderately successful movies, like “Dracula 2000″ and “The Prophecy”. If this guy ever finds an original movie to work on, the world might explode.