Newsflash: Joaquin Phoenix’s Rap Career is BS

According to a source close to Joaquin Phoenix, the whole “quitting acting to concentrate on a rapping career” is currently going through is, shall we say, bullshiiiiiite. But of course you already know that. Who the hell falls off the wagon, grows a beard thicker than the bush outside my house, writes fake tattoos on his knuckles, and then declares that he’s retiring from acting to concentrate on a career in the rapping biz? Or to be more precise, who does that, and his best friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck decides to document it instead of, you know, calling an intervention? Um, no one?

But don’t take my word for it. EW has the inside skinny on the Joaquin one’s big punk’d:

“He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,’” says one source who recently worked with Phoenix.

Yes, America, it’s all a big attempt at Andy Kaufman-like hilarity by the “Walk the Line” star at your expense. Or in MTV parlance, you’ve been punk’d. Now if only that Ashton Kutcher jackass would jump out of some van and hop around like a monkey while he’s pointing his fingers at me and laughing, I’d surely like to give him a swift one in the you-know-what. That last sentence has nothing to do with Phoenix, but man, that show just rubs me the wrong way…

Below: Joaquin’s brief but memorable rapping career.