Nicolas Cage on a Horse in Season of the Witch

No, seriously, it’s Nicolas Cage on a horse from his new movie “Season of the Witch”, not to be mistaken with that pseudo “Halloween” sequel that no one could figure out because, well, what the eff, right? “Season of the Witch” is a 14th-century supernatural thriller that has Cage playing a knight who just recently returned from the Crusades, only to have to deal with an evil sorceress played by British actress Claire Foy who is spreading some bad voodoo across the land. Cage is all, “But I’ve lost my faith and junk due to fighting in the Crusades, and now I gotta deal with this?” And everyone is like, “Dude, you gotta take the chick to some mountain and make her stop her evil ways,” and Cage is like, “Man, being a knight blows!”

Dominic Sena (“Swordfish”) directs, and here’s your first look at Cage on a horse from “Season of the Witch” courtesy of the chaps at USA Today.

My guess is that Cage’s knight falls in love with the witch and realizes she’s not the real cause of the bad hoodoo and they live happily ever after. Years later, people find out they’ve opened a hair plug shop in the mountains and are making a mint selling fake hair to people that, as it turns out, are not people hair, but are actually goat hair. They then get burned alive and some other people take over their shop. I could be wrong, of course.