Now We’ve Done It: China Angry Over Red Dawn Remake

Oh, those wacky Chinese. According to ABC, the land of 5 gazillion people (give or take a quadrillion) is none too pleased about the upcoming MGM remake of the 1984 actioner “Red Dawn”. Okay, so it’s not really the entire country (that’s a bit silly considering their size), it’s actually just a couple of state-run newspapers (i.e. commie mouthpieces) who are raising the red flag over the remake. (See what I did there?)

Writes one paper:

“Despite the world’s focus on U.S.-China relations in the strategic and economic dialogue and their increasing economic connections, China can still feel U.S. distrust and fear, especially among its people. Americans’ suspicions about China are the best ground for the hawks to disseminate fear and doubt, which is the biggest concern with the movie ‘Red Dawn'”.

So what exactly are they so concerned about? Well in the remake, the bad guys are the entire nation of China and Russia, who have teamed up to invade the good ol USA. As with the original, a small band of American boys and girls, led by Chris Hemsworth, Adrianne Palicki, Josh Hutcherson, Isabel Lucas, and Josh Peck become insurgents to fight back.

I can’t blame the Chinese. As you can see from these helpful posters, they’re only trying to help us out of the hole that we’re in. How much do we owe them now, a zillion? See, this is just their way of relieving us of our debt to them, by, you know, um, invasion.

Thanks to Brad for the heads up.

And if all else fails…