Probably More Bullshit Pirates 4 Rumors Courtesy of the Brits
Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides (2011) Movie — By Nix on November 6, 2008 |
Yes, I did make sure to add the “probably” in the headline, because let’s face it, as wrong and bullshitty as they’ve been pretty much on every major movie news story, even the sun’s gotta shine up the dog’s ass at least once in a while, right? As such, even the British tabloids can sometimes get a major movie casting announcement right. Maybe. So what’s the latest from Across the Pond? That unfathomably unfunny funnyman Russell Brand (you remember him, don’t you? The Brit that single-handedly made this year’s MTV VMAs 200 times more excruciating and awful than it would normally have been?) has signed up to star as Jack Sparrow’s brother in the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie. Which, if you’re keeping track, would be the fourth installment.
Makes up, er I mean, says The Sun:
RUSSELL Brand is thrashing out a deal to appear in Pirates of The Caribbean 4 — as Captain Jack Sparrow’s brother.
The deal to play Jonathan, younger brother of Johnny Depp’s character, could be worth £5million.
It would catapult Brand, 33, into the Hollywood A-list less than a week after resigning from his Radio 2 show over the Andrew Sachs phone row involving him and Jonathan Ross.
A source said: “There couldn’t be a role more perfectly suited. There’s a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp’s accent isn’t a million miles away from Russell’s either.
“Russell joining the Sparrows alongside Johnny and Keith Richards as their dad will complete the ultimate on-screen pirate family.”
Yeah, okay, Sun. Whatever. So what to do with this “news”? Probably throw it into the same garbage heap along with all the others, including the rumor that I’ll be playing Jack Sparrow’s illegitimate son in “Pirates 4″. I mean, come on, no one’s even called me up to offer a contract yet!
Russell Brand can next be seen in Adam Sandler’s “Bedtime Stories”, no doubt playing Sandler’s unfathomably unfunny neighbor with odiously eccentric hair. Seriously, folks, leave it to a talentless, try-too-hard Brit “comedian” to finally make me appreciate how funny that fat kid from “Superbad” and Seth Rogen really are. God bless you fat kid from “Superbad” and Seth Rogen.
Below: “Okay, what if I make my eyes bulge and act all gay-ish as I sniff this rose. That’s funny, right? Hot damn I’m funny!”
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34 Comments
Well to say he isnt funny would be an oppinion from yourself i assume your american or not british anyway but some people do find him funny depends what your sence of humor is and us brits might not get your american “commedian” jokes but you do seem to be hard on the british in this post it might just be me but then again i dont think it will be lol so maybe choose your words abit better next time
and he would play a really good jack sparrow brother character
I do agree that you’r being a bit harsh on the brits, However, I also agree that Russell Brand is compleatly un-funny. But somehow I can see him playing a good sparrow..he might fit in perfect, then again he could also make the movie totally bomb. So its kind of hard to say…but then again your probably right Im sure it is just more bullshit..didn’t the writters already say he’s not going to be in the movie? *THANK GOD*
Lol, what a crap website full of biased opinions and terrible knowledge.
Fuck you
lol exactly,dat crackd me up!
wow, he really pissd me off wid dat man, dats obviously his opinion so if i were him id keep it 2 myself innit.
nd y is he gunna blame us 4, We Brits r bre funny he just dnt undrstand da humour. nd dat Russel Brand is a joka so shut up man. i pity dat guy 4 being so close minded.
Russel Brand Is Funny Obv U Americans Have No Sense Of Humour!
Russell is extremely funny. I feel sorry for you Americans not understanding him. He’s pure magic and would be perfect together with Johnny. I do hope that it’s true as he could really bring something to the table (though I wouldn’t mind him not doing it so much either as those films are amazing as they are). Anyone not keen on him should read his book by the way. Just to get a better understanding of who he is and how he carries himself. He is funny – to many of us anyway, as things like that are down to personal preference of course, or he wouldn’t be where he is today.
Britian Owns AMERICA we fucking made you lot and you wouldnt be there if it wasnt for us so Fuck You an ave some respects. hey you should have a thanksgiving day in tribute to us aswell..!!!
we do have a day in which we celebrate you brits, its the day we kicked your arses in a war and sent you packin back to your little island and claimed independance
Yes Mike! America is so victorious even though Europe discovered most of america and developed it’s society and language!
HAIL EUROPE BITCHES!!!
Yes,you discovered a place that already had people in it.Very nice.We did not have the french on our side,we simply had more knowledge of the terrain.English soldiers came marching loudly through the forests in *RED* while we hid in trees in camoflauge.We didnt whine,we actually kicked your asses,but England has a reputation for being snotty.I,personally try to stray from stereotypes but you really arent helping.As for the language,I really think it should be called “European” because it was really made all over Europe but England took most of the credit.I’m not american.My family moved here from Italy some time ago although I WAS born in america,which makes me an American citizen.Russel Brand in my opinion IS a funny man,and you really should not say all of america hates or likes him.We blow things up in honor of kicking your asses.Thats kinda a world wide “We Won” sorta thing.
Ken,
Are you a moron or somthing first you say you are not American and then go on to say that you were born in America. I hate to tell you this but that makes you American, i know most American’s are ashamed to be so that they have to call them selves for instance Italian Americans, even though most are so ignorent they dont have a passport and have never even been out of America
Hi just to let you know dont think you are better than us as the only reason you won was because you had the french on your side and that you threatened to cry if we didn’t let you win. another reason we brits have a better understanding of the word ‘funny’ as oh its an ENGLISH word, and we invented the language you speak. you wouldnt exist oh even worse be french, or spanish, or dutch, if we didnt discover america.
so if you are going to bitch about us brits just think you are one of us!
Awh come on!! You yanks are so sensitive with absolute NO sense of humor!! Hmm you don’t seem as cocky and ignorant now!
Stop fucking blaming this on Russell! Is it that he totally dissed the fugly faggots Jonas brothers? He interrupted that EVEN UGLYER DUDE from twilight(He’s the worst Edward EVER)!
He made MTV lighten up, how? HE’S THE BOMB!!
Now… quit bitching and just realize British comedy would woop American comedy ANY DAY, ANY TIME!!…fucking Yankee!!
THE BRITISH ARE LYING! THE BRITISH ARE LYING!
Ok seriously, is that all you people do is whine and bitch because someone doesn’t have the same opinion as you?? Also the whole “britian owns america” yeah try reading a history book or for that matter just picking one up. You didn’t make us we made ourselves we are the ones that stood up for our rights and beliefs and fought for them. This is a website based on an opinion of the writer if you don’t like what they have to say you do have the power to leave the site. Instead you want to be childish and bash someone you don’t know because they express a different opinion then you. All of you need to grow up and if it upsets you that much be an adult and leave the site. There is no reason to drop the “f” bomb because someone didn’t kiss your ass and agree with everything you think. I personally think that russell brand is not funny at all. He sucked in that movie “forgetting sarah marshal” Go ahead and bash me for my thoughts and opinions, but realize i do have a right to my opinions and you making stupid comments will not change my opinion and i doubt any of you changed the opinion of the writer of this site. Im also sure that the writer could say a lot more to piss all of you off, and i hope they do!
You are correct. Who really cares who thinks he is funny. Hell some people find bob Saget funny lol. With that being said, every time I am around British people they always get very defensive very quickly. Does the weather suck over there or are you all just in a bad mood all the time. Either way we (Americans) are pretty used to criticism and I think I speak for us all when I say, we really do not care if you call us Yankees lol. If anything it makes us laugh that you all think it pisses us off. You know like how mad you get when we say GO TO A DENTIST for the love of god. Now I will get yelled at because the Britt’s can not take a joke. Carry on good sir. Bitches lol.
Thanks for your opinion but have you read that history book you mention???? if it wasn’t for the french fighting in Europe we would have committed many more troops to north america! if we had given the colonies the vote the war of independance wouldn’t have happened! You talk about history we have magazines older than your country!!! you need to learn redpect for other countries i argree russell brand isn’t funny but you can’t blame a nation for one man after all you have BUSH!!
Actually,we have a man named Barack Obama.First black presidnt.You have a queen,which is very old and thereby,closer to death.
According to the back of the POTC 3 dvd case 3 was the last movie. Look on the back of it yourselves. It clearly says the final chapter at the end of the summary.
Okay, I’m not saying that it’s deifinatley coming out or not…. but POTC overall with all three movies made billions of dollars. We’re talking fuck loads of money!!
Disney is a fucking greedy corperation and want nothing more than money, ratings and money!!!
When a company makes a total sum like that…. you REALLY think they’ll stop!?! They said they would stop on High School Musical 3 but OH NOOOO It has to stop on the fourth film!
-_- Fuck Disney.