Probably More Bullshit Pirates 4 Rumors Courtesy of the Brits
Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides (2011) Movie — By Nix on November 6, 2008
Yes, I did make sure to add the “probably” in the headline, because let’s face it, as wrong and bullshitty as they’ve been pretty much on every major movie news story, even the sun’s gotta shine up the dog’s ass at least once in a while, right? As such, even the British tabloids can sometimes get a major movie casting announcement right. Maybe. So what’s the latest from Across the Pond? That unfathomably unfunny funnyman Russell Brand (you remember him, don’t you? The Brit that single-handedly made this year’s MTV VMAs 200 times more excruciating and awful than it would normally have been?) has signed up to star as Jack Sparrow’s brother in the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie. Which, if you’re keeping track, would be the fourth installment.
Makes up, er I mean, says The Sun:
RUSSELL Brand is thrashing out a deal to appear in Pirates of The Caribbean 4 — as Captain Jack Sparrow’s brother.
The deal to play Jonathan, younger brother of Johnny Depp’s character, could be worth £5million.
It would catapult Brand, 33, into the Hollywood A-list less than a week after resigning from his Radio 2 show over the Andrew Sachs phone row involving him and Jonathan Ross.
A source said: “There couldn’t be a role more perfectly suited. There’s a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp’s accent isn’t a million miles away from Russell’s either.
“Russell joining the Sparrows alongside Johnny and Keith Richards as their dad will complete the ultimate on-screen pirate family.”
Yeah, okay, Sun. Whatever. So what to do with this “news”? Probably throw it into the same garbage heap along with all the others, including the rumor that I’ll be playing Jack Sparrow’s illegitimate son in “Pirates 4″. I mean, come on, no one’s even called me up to offer a contract yet!
Russell Brand can next be seen in Adam Sandler’s “Bedtime Stories”, no doubt playing Sandler’s unfathomably unfunny neighbor with odiously eccentric hair. Seriously, folks, leave it to a talentless, try-too-hard Brit “comedian” to finally make me appreciate how funny that fat kid from “Superbad” and Seth Rogen really are. God bless you fat kid from “Superbad” and Seth Rogen.
Below: “Okay, what if I make my eyes bulge and act all gay-ish as I sniff this rose. That’s funny, right? Hot damn I’m funny!”
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34 Comments
The publisher of this article is clearly ‘fishin’ for a bite, and he/she has caught a fair few, but fuck it, here’s another!
First off, surely Russell Brand does have a bit about him (comedy/talent wise) otherwise he wouldn’t be appearing in plenty of films/tv programmes/shows, so that pretty much pisses on the writters’ bonfire, right away!
Secondly, if these rumours were true (Although we all know to take what ‘The Sun’ says with a pinch of salt), i think it could be a blessin in disguise. IMO he’d spice up the comedy factor of POTC, which ultimately would work well with Johnny Depp’s character.
Oh and less of the Brit/Yank bashing, people! As much as our ’sense of humor’ may be different, we have similar cultures and a way of life, which is more than you can say about most other countries in the world today, and as stupid as this may sound, we need one another, in order to prevent this entire planet becoming a ‘free for all’………..So lay off each other, yeah?
Peace
Brits do not own america. You’re right that america wouldn’t of formed without britain.. without it’s corruption and lack of character America would of never been, fortunately for us in america your ancestors treated enough people like shit to lose a war to AMERICA and form the government we have today which have helped you guys out of more trouble you’d be able to handle by yourself. Don’t be naive.
Well here’s some more rumors from a British person. Zac efron recently confirmed he’s signed onto the pirate cast for the fourth instalment. I’d rather sit through two hours of Russell than Zac. Fact.
I am British and most of the time I find Russell funny. I think his character is very much like that of Jack Sparrow.
I think it could work but the 3rd was said to be the last and The Sun does write a load of rubbish.
I think Russell would be 100% better choice than Zac.
And for saying he isn’t funny, Britain and America have total different humours. We are more witty, cleaver, cerebral, ironic, sarcastic which is designed to make you think, but most of America’s humor is slapstick, just straight forward.
I do like some American humors like Family Guy but that’s pretty much it out of the ones I have watched. It just depends on the type of humor you like, I know some English people that like most Americans comedies except sitcoms and I know some Americans who love the British humor.
And to the people who said Britain or America don’t have senses of humor both do it’s just very different. The Britain’s like to think (most of the time) and Americans don’t (most of the time) it’s that simple.
this is on the verge of being anti-british. feels like your insulting my nationality. all the best comedy has come from britian, and in case i need to give examples: monty python, faulty towers, the young ones, black books, mighty boosh, father ted, brass eye etc which are up against the likes of, that 70’s show, 2 and a half men, king of queens, friends and the rest of the mass produced rubbish that you lot flog to death over about a billion series. when american comedians can stand up to ours then you might have something good to say. our tabloids are rubbish but we know they’re tabloids. so to slate our media and come from a country that broadcasts the likes of bill orielly on a news channel is also insulting, besides this site is of about as good as a uk tabloid paper anyway.
the author of this clearly a thick and arrogant bollock and the only words he/she should be paid to broadcast to society should be “would you like fries with that?”
(i apologise to any americans my words may have offended, apart from the author of this article who can be as offended as they like and i couldnt care less.)
Yeah, just coz americans have an infantile sense of humour and no concept of irony or sophistication. Honestly, we give the world fawlty towers, only fools and horses, monty python for christ sake!
The americans just keep crapping out sitcom after sitcom that more or less tries to imitate friends. Amercians suck at comedy. Now, we just keep getting movies liek superbad (follows its namesake), mall cop (hard to describe how terrible this film is. Trying pulling out your eyeballs and eating them and you’ll be halfway there!)
Don’t talk crap about a nation that invented humour! Remember the yanks weren’t about when the world as we know it was being forged. Just thank god the Germans didn’t have the biggest input into the worlds sense of humour!
usa sucks chundercock, get over yourselves, we’ll go to the dentist when u stop eating your body wieght in burgers
Hello there, I dropped in on this site on expection of a few facts but came upon this post.
To begin I am Scottish (A person from Scotand which is a country joined in the United Kingdom if some geography stupid people do not know this).
I have many family who are American and many who arre English and many from other nationalities.
I am rather distraught that this conversation over Russel Brand and Pirates of the Caribbean movie would install so much hatred and clear bias and unresponsive arguments.
I think that American humour is more obvious and is clear humour that all can understand, british humour, which is a genre of its own is a based comedy form of which English tend to have whereby they have subtleties in humour and indepth political views etc. less sarcastic and more sincere if anything. they are both good . scottish humour is different from irish humour and that different from welsh and from english. The very sameI am sure from state to state you can not make certain jokes or the feelings in that state will differ from that of another, therefore opnions will vary and what some see as right or funny etc will all be different.
The conversation that occurred regarding Amercian forming themselves, I hold a high five up to the Amercian who does know their history. Of course the UK. colonised all over the world and formed all modern civilisations. The unknown people of whom the aristocracy aback then regarded as rebels and scavengers, were made slaves and thus the hatred and greed and suchlike were made and formed.
This was not something to take out on someone of who has ancestors who are british and definately not one to be had over a russel brand and pirates conversation.
The USA does not suck, as i quote, and we have terrible heart conditions in our contry with bad dieting ourselves, which is bas3ed on western culture however, we are not stupid, we can make our own decisions people.
Amercians do not sit and jsut eat burgers and go to mcdonals everyday.they have a different dental and helath care system of which they pay a lot of money for out of personal choice. We have the NHS of which gives us free dental care. Go private if you wish, but because or health care system is different has nothing to do with russel brand or pirates.
Now I have tried not to be biased but it seems i am standing up for americans. I have my very own opnioins and being a filmmaker I have found that the amercian frame of mind is more positive and less cynical than that of the british. this mainly because expect the worst. The u.s. has been labelled with all of these dreams etc. which is not true. the american dream died in the 50’s I suggest but that is for further debate. Not for the russel brand and prates discussion on a movie website.
I hope I gave my points and I hope that we all just give up this rally of nationalistic bollocks. If we all stopped thinking about nationalism we would all get along so much better. This coming from a scotsman who has much dislike for government at the moment and voting SNP. I understand the national and patriotic feelings people have. But lets face it, we are all human, all come from teh same place, our mothers. and we all share the same culture.
Let’s get along and concentrate on the websites purpose and the posts’ purpose, which is more than bias and i dont agree with at all but it is up there … So return, Russel Brand and Pirates of the caribeean 4.
First of all I just want to say, are you all crazy? Russell Brand is one of the funniest guys I’ve ever seen. As for the vma’s Russell only said what everyone was actually thinking and if you dont get the joke, you can’t criticize the joke.
As for all this rubbish about which country is more powerful I feel I have to tell you all that whilst America may have the upperhand in power stakes it’s really not something you should be bragging about, I mean for gods sake your country all on it’s own power trip managed to cause the biggest economic downturn the world has seen! You should be really proud of yourself….. Well done America!!!!!
Seeing this is meant to be about the film I will finally say that the chances of Disney and co making poc 4 is slim to none. Poc 3 was the FINAL chapter to the story now I suggest that rather that talking crap you look up the dictionary and find the meaning of the word final!
hi im sorry but im not sure whether you have realised that russell brand is british/……………actually thinking about it i swear over half the cast of pirates are actually british , so keep your opinions of british people to yourself
thanks