Punisher: War Zone Teaser Trailer is Bulletastic

I got me some high hopes for Lexi Alexander’s “Punisher: War Zone”, even if this first-ever teaser trailer for the flick doesn’t exactly do it for me. Okay, there are some nice shots in there, like the one where Frank (played this time around by Roman badass Ray Stevenson) is gearing up to face off against some baddies on the other side of a wall, but overall, the teaser doesn’t WOW. You know, that kind of mind-blowing, “Oh God, the world is going to blow up in two seconds, and I forgot to wear clean underwear” type of wow.

(In fact, I have such high hopes for this movie, I’m even going to pretend I didn’t notice the totally blatant cribbing of Troy Duffy’s “The Boondock Saints” in the hanging-from-the-ceiling-and-shooting bit that the Punisher pulls about halfway into the teaser. And yeah, while I’m well aware that John Woo has done that numerous times in his Chow Yun Fat movies, Duffy really made an art out of it in “Saints”.)

Waging his one-man war on the world of organized crime, ruthless vigilante-hero Frank Castle sets his sights on overeager mob boss Billy Russoti. After Russoti is left horribly disfigured by Castle, he sets out for vengeance under his new alias: Jigsaw. With the “Punisher Task Force” hot on his trail and the FBI unable to take Jigsaw in, Frank must stand up to the formidable army that Jigsaw has recruited before more of his evil deeds go unpunished.

Ray Stevenson punishes the crap out of people December 5th. Get yer tickets, folks, get it now before he busts a cap in yo ass.