Quick Hits: Punisher 2, Pink Panther 2, Bloodrayne 2, Masters of Sci-Fi, Return to House on Haunted Hill

Punisher 2: Speaking of the upcoming “Punisher 2″ (weren’t we just talking about it?), it appears the sequel has gotten itself a title — besides, you know, “Punisher 2″. The full working title will be “Punisher: Welcome Back Frank”, which, I believe, was one of the titles of Garth Ennis’ run on the latest Punisher comic book line. The sequel also has a start date: late September in Montreal, Canada. If director Lexi Alexander decides to go “Garth Ennis” on the Punisher, then we have ourselves one bloody violent movie, folks. Then again, would the studio LET her turn the franchise into a bloodbath? I have my doubts…

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Pink Panther 2: Nobody seemed to like the recent “Pink Panther” remake with Steve Martin, but I thought it was okay. Mind you, I didn’t think it was great or anything, but I thought it had its moments. (Although it did remind me of something: Beyonce cannot act to save her life. But I digress.) The sequel has landed four more castmembers: Andy Garcia, John Cleese, Alfred Molina and Aishwarya Rai. They will be joining Jean Reno and Emily Mortimer, who returns from the first movie. The first movie grossed $140 million worldwide, which doesn’t seem like a whole lot once you factor in the cost of production and PR, but I guess it’s good enough. .

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Masters of Science Fiction: The L.A. Times doesn’t seem especially impressed with ABC’s new anthology series “The Masters of Science Fiction”. I’m personally looking forward to this, but then again, I’ve always been a sucker for science fiction movies, TV shows, and “Twilight Zone” and “Outer Limits” episodes with sci-fi stuff in them. Here’s a quote from the LA Times review: “The worst are undone by their own earnestness and the explicitness with which the dialogue presents the issues that the action should embody.” Eh, what do they know. Stuffy TV critics. Catch “The Masters of Science Fiction” on ABC Sundays, because God knows ABC sure is going out of its way to NOT promote it. Here’s a trailer for it:

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Return to House on Haunted Hill: Here’s another movie that no one seemed to like, but I dug okay. Again, I’m not saying it was great, but it was okay for 90 minutes of a wasted afternoon. The horror remake of “The House on Haunted Hill” gets a direct-to-DVD sequel, and more dumb ass people goes into the haunted house to get chopped up to pieces. Yum! Trailer for it below. Amanda Righetti plays the sister of Ali Larter’s character from the first movie, who has since died, which is a real gyp, but I guess they couldn’t get Larter to come back. Co-starring Tom Riley and genre favorite Cerina Vincent, who will probably get naked in the movie. I think it’s required in her contract or something.

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BloodRayne 2: Deliverance: Don’t ask me how Uwe Boll keeps getting the money to make these movies. It’s like asking, “Why are we here? What’s the purpose of life?” and, “If I fall down a well and no one is there to save me, did I really fall down the well?” To understand the continued survival of a Uwe Boll, one must first uncover the secrets of the Universe. Alas, that ain’t gonna happen, so here’s the trailer to Boll’s “BloodRayne 2: Deliverance”, because, you know, the first one was just so beloved. The second one takes the action to the American Wild West, and posits a vampiric Billy the Kid. No, I shit you not.