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 he latest comic book adaptation come to life is a
ridiculous and joyless effort, more likely to inspire incredulous laughter
than audience enjoyment. Despite the presence of a good cast,
"Catwoman" is a mess of action sequences, corporate
conspiracies, and Egyptian mythology. And it's about as enjoyable as being
repeatedly pounded in the face with a forklift.
"Catwoman" jettisons any link to the Batman
mythos from which the character originated, in favor of wiping the slate
clean and starting over with a new protagonist. In this case, it's
Patience Phillips (Halle Berry), a meek designer at a cosmetics
corporation. One night, Patience stumbles upon the lethal truth about her
company's premier product and is killed by corporate goons. But she is
resurrected by an Egyptian cat God and bestowed heightened senses,
amplified reflexes, and a devil may care attitude. Now she seeks justice
on her murderers, all the while trying to unravel the corporate conspiracy
that could threaten millions.
There's very little to praise about "Catwoman". Director
Jean-Christophe Comar (aka Pitof, "Vidocq")
adds some nice visual sequences and gives the film a quick pace, so it's
not as unbearable as it could have been. Peter Wingfield (the
"Highlander" TV show) is excellent but underused as a corporate
doctor who shows he has a conscience and even a glimmer of a soul.
Patience's best friend provides some needed comic relief as she tries to hunt down Mr. Right. But focusing on these efforts is like
trying to look at the bright side of an absolute disaster.
Halle Berry ("Swordfish"),
an exceptionally talented actress, looks embarrassed to be in this movie
and gives a performance that reflects it. Veteran Sharon Stone looks awful
and is hardly believable as the glamorous wife of a cosmetics mogul. Her
performance is bland, and nothing approaching the evil villainess the
movie calls for. And Benjamin Bratt simply looks lost as a cop who falls
for Patience, as if the actor isn't entirely sure what to make of
everything going on around him.
But the bulk of the blame is to be assigned to the script, credited to
Theresa Rebeck, John Brancato, Michael Ferris, and John Rogers. With four
writers toiling away on "Catwoman", there's simply no reason for
the film to be the atrocity it is. Ditching the character's Gotham City origins was a terrible idea, and the mythological
angle comes across as just silly. The same can be said for the idea of a
Catwoman being present in every time period throughout history. Its an
intriguing premise, but highly fallible: If true, how come no one has
heard of them until now?
"Catwoman" is to good filmmaking what a car crash is to a
defensive driving course. It is the nadir of comic book films, and manages
to make Roger Corman's "Fantastic
Four" seem like a masterpiece by comparison. Moviegoers should
avoid this film like the plague -- unless they are looking for an
excellent reason to die young. |
