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 hen you get right down to it, Stephen
Norrington's debut film, "Death Machine", is pretty stupid. And
I don't even mean that in a disparaging way, because although it is
without a doubt a derivative genre film trying to skate by on a B-Movie
level budget, "Death Machine" is nevertheless decent enough for
a few good laughs, some okay action scenes, and a heck of a leading lady.
That is, if you don't mind watching a pretty stupid movie while you're at
it.
The sci-fi/action/comedy stars Ely Pouget as Hayden
Cale, the new CEO of Chaank, an Evil Corporation that specializes in
making and selling weapons for, you know, that thing all Evil Corporations
do in these movies -- profit. After one of Chaank's (doesn't that name
just inspire confidence?) super weapons run amok and slaughters a diner
full of patrons, the company isn't looking too good PR-wise. Enter Cale,
whose first day on the job includes leaking company secrets to the media,
usurping power from the dominant male (re: Eeee-vil) execs, and
getting on the bad side of Mad Genius Jack Dante (Brad Dourif), who
befitting his disheveled appearance and horny disposition, works out of
the corporation's basement.
As soon as Norrington's script introduces Cale, you
know this is one dumb movie. For one, who exactly hired Cale to be the
company's new CEO, and why aren't they fired yet? Chaank is a giant,
multi-national, multi-billion dollar company, but they can't hire some
guys to dig into the history of their new CEO? This doesn't make sense at
all; that is, if you expected "Death Machine" to even make a
modicum of logical sense in the first place. Let's see: I run a company
that makes and sells illegal weapons systems to anyone who wants to buy
it, so of course I'm going to hire someone with the social sensibilities
of a peacenik. Brilliant! Geez, how does Chaank stay in business with this
type of genius decisions?
The whole perplexing idea behind Cale's hiring aside,
the film soon introduces us to three militant peaceniks with the names Sam
Raimi, Yutani, and Weyland. And oh yeah, the two male execs that Cale
butts heads with are named John Carpenter and Scott Ridley. Ooooh, can't
you just feel the inside jokes? Or is that lazy writing? You decide.
Personally, I think naming your characters after famous directors and fake
corporations from popular sci-fi movies only serve to draw undue attention
to the names of characters, and not to the characters themselves.
Then again, considering how generic these guys are, maybe that was the
idea.
I don't mean to make it sound as if "Death
Machine" is a total loser. At 90 minutes, it probably spends too much
time with Cale as she goes about uncovering her new company's past and
current misdeeds. (If you're quick enough, you'll see a cameo appearance
by Rachel Weisz ("The
Mummy").) Of course the film's long build-up is made tenable only
because Ely Pouget, despite the odd name, is quite a looker. As the film
churns along and Pouget's Cale is put in dangerous situations, it's
obvious Norrington is going for a Ripley impersonation using Cale (and
considering all the nods to Ridley Scott's "Alien",
this would seem a given). And yes, Pouget does make a pretty good
Ripley/Sarah Connor archetype -- except she has supermodel good looks on
top of all the Girl Power spunk.
But "Death Machine's" best choice was
probably casting the eccentric Brad Dourif, who gives a winning
performance as the Mad Genius who likes torn jeans, porn, and his
purposely unkempt appearance. The script's best moments all have to do
with Dourif's Dante as he seeks, rather unsuccessfully, to get into Cale's
pants. And really, can you blame the guy? Even beaten up, bloodied, and
drenched in rain, Ely Pouget cuts a mighty fine figure. It's also
intriguing to wonder why Norrington makes Pouget wear nothing more than
some old pajamas for much of the film?
As for Dante's titular death machine the Warbeast, a
sort of skeletal android with sharp knives for teeth and fingers, it was a
good idea to hide it for the film's first two acts. When the Warbeast does
eventually show itself in the Third Act, it's pretty laughable. Which is
surprising, since writer/director Norrington is an ex-special effects man.
You'd think with his background he could make a more convincing death
machine. The Warbeast, like all Movie Monsters, is more fearsome when we
see him running around corridors on the hunt. When the Warbeast is roaming
(i.e. we see what it sees via a POV shot) he has the speed of Michael
Jordan, but when he's onscreen he moves like Ted Kennedy after a long
night at the local pub.
Despite its promising title, "Death
Machine" is not all that bloody. There are only four direct kills by
the Warbeast's blades that I counted, and three of them were either off
screen or shot in a way that hid the gruesome details. And since the film
is clearly going for a goofy, campy take on the films that helmer
Norrington clearly loves, you aren't really surprise that "Death
Machine" looks familiar. As a result, I'm officially dismissing
"Death Machine" as a horror movie, and calling it a sci-fi
retread instead.
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