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 esert Saints is a Hitman's Last Job picture,
essentially a Hitman film that relies on that tried and true (and cliché to the
nth degree) premise of a famous hitman who goes on one last big job before
permanently hanging up his shingles and sailing off into the sunset. Of course,
as is the case with all Hitman's Last Job films, the last job for our hitman
never goes as planned and complications arise. The premise has been done to
death and frankly, I'm sick and tired of it, and wish someone would stop
doing it. Is it so hard to make a hitman movie where the hitman isn't
"going on that last job before retirement?" Are filmmakers that lazy
nowadays?
Desert Saints stars Kiefer Sutherland as Banks, the
retiring hitman in question, who has been in retirement for a while before
resurfacing again to go on "that last big job" before really
retiring this time. On his way to Mexico for the job, Banks picks up hitchhiker
Bennie (Melora Walters), who brings along a chatty mouth, enough annoyance for a
busload of hyper preschoolers, and plenty of sass. We learn that Banks is being
pursued by veteran FBI man Scanlon (Jamey Sheridan), who has a score to settle
with Banks. It seems The Powers That Be back in Washington wants Banks captured
alive in order to flip him -- i.e. turn him into a state witness so he can give
up all of his past clients. Banks, you see, is a legendary hitman, and he has a
wealth of knowledge in his head that can put a lot of bad guys in prison...
There is nothing in writer/director Richard Greenberg's Desert
Saints that you haven't seen before in countless other Hitman's Last Job
movies. All the clichés are here, from the tough cop (in this case, an FBI
agent) who sorts of admire the hitman, but still wants to nail him; the love
interest who doesn’t know what the hitman does, but when she does learns,
doesn't seem to mind; and lo and behold, even those lovable bad guys who hires
our hitman and who can't be trusted to not stab our man in the back at the first
opportunity.
The most disappointing thing about Desert Saints is
that its first 10 minutes are actually very good. The premise and look of
Sutherland's Banks is very unique -- he's supposedly Ivy League educated (which
leads us to wonder how he got to become a hitman in the first place) but looks
like a hillbilly redneck (which makes us wonder if his reputation is a scam).
When we first see Banks, he's coldly dispatching a female cohort who he has used
for various purposes, but no longer has a need for. Right away, we know Banks is
a sadistic bastard and can't be trusted.
So what happens? For the next 70 minutes director Greenberg
and fellow writer Wally Nichols begin to turn our sadistic hitman into a pale
version of his former (or at least in that first 10 minutes) self. As one
character quips toward the end of the film, in reference to Banks, "This is
the legendary assassin?" I share his confusion. Kiefer Sutherland (Dark
City) is very good as Banks in the beginning, but his character
gradually de-evolves before our very eyes, and I started to pity the man -- not
because I started to like him, but because I've seen him wade through 70 minutes
of Hell, er, I mean Bennie. The slick, unpredictable killer is turned into an
easily duped redneck that can't do anything right, and makes all the wrong
choices regarding the Bennie character. As the film closes, Desert Saints
tries to bring back the "badness" that was evident in Banks in the
beginning, but it's much too little too late.
As mentioned, joining Sutherland is Melora Walters as
Bennie. It's not that Walters can't act, she's just not very good, and her shift
in character at the 50-minute mark didn't impress me because it didn't convince
me. It turns out Bennie is actually an
FBI agent, sent in as a plant for Banks to pick up and take along with him on
his hit. But if that's the case then why was she so annoying and
insufferable? Wouldn't constantly nagging and asking pointless questions just to
annoy Banks be counterproductive and make bringing her along too much of a risk
for Banks to take?
It
is completely ridiculous for director Greenberg to expect us to swallow that
this professional assassin would helplessly grit his teeth through Bennie's
endless series of childish personalities, especially after we just saw him shoot
another young woman in the back without so much as a flicker of hesitation.
The most interesting part of Desert Saints is the
relationship between Marbury and Scanlon, the two FBI agents on Banks' trail.
The two actors are very relaxed around each other and have good rapport, not to
mention the presence of sexual tension between them. Unfortunately the film
doesn't come back to them often enough, which is too bad, because Leslie
Stefanson is an attractive woman and her chemistry with Sheridan's Scanlon is
worthwhile.
Desert Saints runs at a scant 80 minutes. You might
think that with such a low running time the film was heavily edited to move at a
brisk pace, but you would be wrong. Very little happens in the movie -- Banks
runs, the FBI chases, Banks shoots a couple of people, and blah. The ending,
which is supposed to be a big shocker, just seems silly, reminding me that in
this day and age everyone and their mom feels the need to add a "twist
ending" to their movies, even if it doesn't make a lick of sense.
I could have used more of Marbury and Scanlon and less of
Bennie and Banks. Well, actually, I could have used less of Bennie period. How
annoying is her character? Let's just say I kept asking myself why Banks hasn't
shot her and dumped her body as easily as he had dumped his last girl. What in
the world is holding him back? Bennie is certainly no knockout; she's not even
all that attractive. Without the breast enhancements and blonde hair, actress
Melora Walters could be mistaken for a 12-year old boy. (No offense, Melora.)
Desert Saints wants to be a "cool" Hitman
film by shifting back and forth in time, but it's a complete waste of time. With
the success of his TV show "24," I can only hope that Kiefer
Sutherland will start getting better film roles than this dreck.
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