volution is an odd movie. It's a movie with science
fiction elements and bathroom-level humor. The characters are cardboard cutouts
and not a single one of them should be doing what they're doing in the movie.
For instance, Orlando Jones' character, a geologist and professor, acts, talks,
and has the motives of a 5-year old child; David Duchovny's Ira Kane is supposed
to be a biologist and professor, but acts, talks, and has the motives of a
6-year old child (just slightly older and more mature than Jones' Harry Block);
Julianne Moore is Allison Reed, a CDC expert, who looks like an adult, but has
the intellect to rival Block and Kane. What happened? Why did the filmmakers give the actors such
ridiculous roles and personalities? Is seeing Moore's Allison acting like a
clumsy oaf supposed to be funny? (Oh ho, look, Moore is this serious actress,
right? And she's, like, tripping everywhere! Now that's funny! Uh, no, it
Evolution is about a meteorite that crashes to Earth
and into a cave. When two scientists/professors (Duchovny and Jones) from the
local community college investigates, they discover alien lifeforms inside the
rock. It turns out the alien lifeforms are quickly evolving into something, well,
alien, since their evolution rate seems to be millions of times faster than
humans. Ira and Harry see this as
their ticket to fame and fortune. Block wants the fame part and Ira wants to get
out of the community college and back to the big time, where he has been exiled
from. Before you can say, "Holy E.T.!" the Army is
involved, and the two scientists from the local college are kicked to the curve.
Suddenly alien creatures start appearing all over town, eating citizens and
causing panics everywhere.
Director Ivan Reitman, responsible for a lot of funny
movies in the past, tries for another Ghostbusters with Evolution,
but comes out mostly flat and unsuccessful. This may be due to the simple reason
that these actors aren't, well, they just aren't meant for comedies.
example of this is Julianne Moore, a serious actress grossly out of her arena.
Duchovny worked as the dry FBI agent Fox Mulder on the TV show X-Files,
but he once again proves that he has very little charm or talent unless working
with the words and direction of excellent writers like Chris Carter and the
other staff writers of X-Files. Orlando Jones provides the movie's
only real funny lines and moments, but he seems to be playing the black sambo
while at the same time lamenting the role of blacks in white society. It reminds
me of a kid complaining about the evils of capitalism while working at a
MacDonald's earning $6.00 an hour.
With characters that act like little children regardless of
what profession they're supposed to be engaged in, you can expect plenty of penis, fart,
diarrhea, and ass jokes, and you get plenty of them with Evolution. In
fact, I'm pretty sure the movie covered every single toilet humor subject and
even dived into some that I've never heard before. In-between the childish
banter and sex innuendos (straight and gay, by the way) there's plenty of cgi
monsters to keep us interested -- unless you're under 10 years old and was
entertained before by all the toilet humor. The cgi monsters are all silly
looking, but at least they're well-done, thanks to today's advancement in
computer effects. Sean William Scott also shows up as a flunked out fireman who
gets involved in the craziness.
That's not to say Evolution is a bad film. It's a
mediocre film that has no idea what it's trying to be, and the result is a movie
that tries for everything. It works on some level if you enjoy mindless fun. The
creature effects are excellent and there are funny moments, although there's a
feeling that the movie tries way too hard to be funny. Had this been an all-out
dumb comedy it might have succeeded much more than it does in its present form.
The whole movie is very silly and unless you completely
shut down your brain and ignore all the plot holes and stupidity going on, you
won't enjoy it. For instance, after about 100 or so Army soldiers are killed by
one of the alien monsters, the movie reverts back to fart and enema jokes. I don't know
about you, but I'm not sure if that's supposed to be funny after what I just
saw. Movies like Ghostbusters
worked because it was silly and nothing
onscreen was very serious; it never killed people for laughs (in fact, I don't
remember anyone ever dying in Ghostbusters).
is just too unsure about what it wants to be and the result is a mess.