|
 ince
the makers of "The Island" already
decided that secrecy was pointless, as the film's
main draw depended on the audience being lured in
by said plot device (and in truth, it's the only
decision they could have made), let's dispense
with the secrets, shall we? "The
Island
" is set in a futuristic world where clones
are artificially bred and kept confined within a
sterile environment where they are fed and kept
healthy until their real-world counterparts need a
body part from them. Or in some cases, until the
clone women gives birth, after which the babies
will be extracted and hand over to the loving
couple that paid top dollar for the clone ($5
million per clone, apparently). As a way to keep
the clones oblivious to their true purpose, the
corporation has invented The Island, supposedly
the "last pathogen-free place" in the
world, the rest of the world having been
"contaminated" and made unlivable. Of
course none of this is true, but our clones don't
know it. Yet.
So there you have it. The
main plot of "The Island",
Michael
Bay
's take on cloning, and quite possibly the most
intelligent film the oft disparaged director has
done in his career. The film stars Ewan McGregor,
sporting an attention-getting mole directly in the
middle of his forehead, as a clone named Lincoln
Six Echo. Lincoln is the curious type (Why do his
clothes only come in white?), and when we are
first introduced to him, he's having nightmares
about The Island and his disastrous attempts to
get to it with fellow hottie clone Jordan Two
Delta (Scarlett Johansson, who looks rather
fetching in white).
Lincoln
's constant questioning (Why can't he have bacon?
And what the hell is tofu, and who decided that he
liked eating it?) becomes a subject for Merrick
(perennial bad guy Sean Bean), the
"doctor" who runs the facility (and as
it turns out, the owner of the cloning
corporation).
Merrick
's troubles with
Lincoln
only get worst when the clone discovers the truth
and sets off to escape with
Jordan
in tow. Luckily for our two fugitives, they get
help from greasy monkey wrench McCord (played by
greasy actor Steve Buscemi), who fills in the two
clueless kids on the truth. Unfortunately for our
runaway couple,
Merrick
has purchased the services of ex-Special Forces
mercenary Albert Laurent (Djimon Hounsou) to track
down his lost "products". Then again,
considering how easily Lincoln and Jordan
accidentally dispatch of Laurent's supposedly
ex-Special Forces soldiers, maybe it's not such
bad luck after all. (I guess when he called them
Special Forces, Laurent meant that his men were
"special". Get it?) And for a guy whose
entire operation (worth billions upon billions) is
a closely guarded secret from not only his
clients, but also the U.S. Government,
Merrick
sure hires some awfully undependable employees, as
can be evidenced by McCord.
For a
Michael
Bay
film, there is a surprisingly sophisticated, even
intelligent first hour, but alas this is
a "
Michael
Bay
film", which translates into the second half
being one long chase where Laurent's hapless
ex-"special" forces hunt Lincoln and
Jordan through a futuristic
L.A.
As with a lot of the action scenes in Bay's films,
the sequences here goes on for much too long, with
a lot of expensive stuff blowing up real good.
Most of the time you're ready for the sequence to
end about 5 minutes in, but they just keep going
and going, and after a while all you can think
about is how much this particular action sequence
is costing. If you've seen enough of movies like
"The Island", it's easy to understand
why Hollywood Summer fare costs as much as they
do.
In any case, the film's
highlight isn't even any of its abundant action
sequences, but a brief interlude where
Lincoln
finally comes face to face with his
"sponsor", the real Tom Lincoln (also
played by McGregor). The real Tom, we learn, is
from
Scotland
(as is McGregor), and speaks with a heavy Scottish
accent, while the clone
Lincoln
does not. In a funny bit, the clone
Lincoln
starts to imitate the real Tom, who tells him to
cut it out because it's freaking him out. The real
Lincoln
, it also turns out, is something of a
philandering lush who, when presented with the
opportunity, immediately tries to get into
Jordan
's pants.
Unfortunately there's just
not a lot of intelligence to be found in the
second half, and through the endless chases and
exploding objects, one can't help but wish the
story had never left Merrick's clone buildings,
because things were so much more interesting when
we didn't know what was outside. After a while,
you wonder how leading man Ewan McGregor can
summon up the strength to still act when the film
has devolve so much beyond the initial premise.
Co-star Scarlett Johansson is wholly wasted, her
role basically consisting of mindless pep when
inside the institute and running and screaming
when outside it. The role is certainly nothing
that a critically acclaimed actress with some real
acting chops should have taken, and is more of a
role for an unknown actress with a pretty face.
You have to wonder about
"The Island's" full potential if only
the second half had a tiny fraction of the brains
showcased in the first hour. Instead of Hounsou
and his faceless mercenaries chasing Lincoln and
Jordan on hoverbikes, why not more funny dialogue
from
Lincoln
about why clothes that only come in white sucks
because it keeps getting dirty. And who exactly
washes his clothes when he hands them over, only
to have them magically appear in his drawers the
next morning? There's a really paranoid, but
funny, film here. In fact, if the entire Outside
sequences had been excised completely, leaving a
movie about a guy in an enclosed surrounding who
can't figure out why things are the way they are,
and keeps asking questions, and trying to find out
The Truth…
Then again, maybe it's just
me. |
