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 ometimes I think I'm just a glutton for punishment. Take
my DVD buying habits as a prime example.
The DVD "Lethal Target" is why I hate buying
movies I have never heard of, starring people I have never seen, and showcasing
a box cover that looks much too good for a film this obscure. The film stars CC
Costigan as Nikki Savage, a convict who gets a chance to shave some years off
her sentence (she's doing time for killing a bad cop, according to her) by doing
some dirty work for the warden at her prison. The prison, incidentally, is some
kind of mining base called Titan, or was it Titus? It doesn't really matter,
does it?
Nikki is sent to a rogue spaceship that has been taken over
by a doctor (Kim Dawson) experimenting in sex; Nikki is to retake control, and
if she can't, the ship will be destroyed with her on it! Although I'm confused
why the DVD's back cover claims she's a "security officer" (actually,
it says "sexy security officer") who must save a space
station from an alien infestation. I just hate it when back cover text lies.
On the plus side, it's good to know even the Canadians are
capable of making terrible B-movies. "Lethal Target" was created as a
cheapy sci-fi film that uses stock footages for its space locations and very
fake-looking sets for its interiors. Its biggest asset is its leading lady, CC
Costigan, who is fabulously beautiful and is willing to go nude for the sake of,
ahem, her art. There's no surprise that the film relies on Costigan and co-star
Kim Dawson (a veteran of the erotic thrillers of the '90s) to show as much skin
as possible, while trying their best to act in the process.
It goes without saying that the acting is laughable, but
that's to be expected, and so I was neither surprised nor terribly irked. The
plot of "Lethal Target" is quite silly (again, no surprise). Dawson's
Dane was somehow involved in a time-traveling experiment that went wrong, with
the result being that she is now obsessed with getting everyone onboard her ship
to become, uh, sexual partners. Apparently it's some kind of new religion to
her, and she's so obsessed with it that she spends much of her screentime
lounging in bed with two attractive females groping her. Hey, I could think of
worst ways to spend a day!
Along the way, there's some guy in a plastic suit running
around as an alien (take a look at the cover) planting seeds that bursts out of
people's chests. In-between the sexual encounters (the straight and bi kind,
which offers the film's only real reason to watch: gratuitous nudity), writer
Chris Hyde throws in a subplot about an alien virus trying to take over the
ship. Or some such nonsense. Just think "Alien" but with a really low
budget.
The science ranges from ludicrous to just plain silly. For
instance, the prison warden injects our heroine with a computer chip via a
syringe that allows him to instantaneously communicate with her through vast
distances (no need for communications satellites, natch) and which also acts as
her own personal supercomputer, complete with database that can access anything
she needs. Of course, this begs the question: If things are so sophisticated in
the future, why is everyone still carrying M16s and Beretta handguns? Aren't
there supposed to be lasers or something?
Besides the DVD having no extras to speak of (not even a
simple menu with scene selection!), the film comes in full screen version only.
Mind you, not that I think a widescreen is going to change anything, but it's
always nice to have the choice.
"Lethal Target" is what it is: a shoddy story
with amateurish acting, props, stock footages, and pretty women. CC Costigan has
some nice tongue-in-cheek one-liners, but she's hopelessly involved in a movie
that screams "cheap" and "bad" from the first to last reel.
Costigan is attractive, but it's going to take more than her pretty face and
obvious spunk to make this stinker even remotely respectable.
Then again, who says it was meant to be respectable in the
first place? At least it delivers what it promises.
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