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 ithout
going into any lengthy tirade over the whole issue
of remakes, I think it's safe to say that there
should at least be an honest reason for remaking
an earlier film. One such reason would be that the
original was a flawed or somehow failed work such
as "The
Amityville Horror" or "The
Hills Have Eyes", both of which have
their loyal admirers but clearly had much room for
improvement. Unfortunately this was not the case
with a bona fide classic like "The
Texas Chainsaw Massacre", which simply
stands on its own, needing no financial or
artistic assistance whatsoever, and a few extra
dollars and Jessica Biel add nothing to the
original work.
A second, perhaps more
compelling reason to remake a film would be that
the original failed to truly exploit its basic
premise due to the censorship of the times or the
limitations of visual effects available. Films
such as Cronenberg's "The Fly" and
Carpenter's "The
Thing" both re-imagined, expanded, and
expressed the full force of the source material in
ways the original could not conceive. Which brings
me to this 2006 remake of "The Omen".
The original was made in the
wake of the 70's big budget studio devil movies
"Rosemary's Baby" and "The
Exorcist", and although it remains memorable,
it's certainly no classic. The real reason for
this remake seems to be the novelty of the release
date --
June 6th, 2006
. And that's unfortunate since the concept could
have used some dusting off. For those of you who
don't already know the story, it's the one where
this kid named Damien has the number 666 marked on
his head, and who turns out to be not a human boy,
but rather the Anti-Christ himself, born from the
womb of a jackal and raised by his unsuspecting
parents in the world of politics. And even if you
have never seen the original, you probably still
know the film's lore. The movie's mythology has
surpassed the film and moved securely into the
mainstream of popular culture.
For this we can credit
screenwriter David Seltzer, best known at the time
of the original as the uncredited writer who
reworked Roald Dahl's script for the original
"Willy Wonka" (itself remade recently by
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp). And although Seltzer
reportedly banged out "The Omen" script
for purely mercenary dollars, his version of
Revelations still stands almost as strongly as the
lore Curt Siodmak created for the 1941 classic
"The Wolf Man". Both films even share
their own respective poems to recite.
Now for those of you who
missed Richard Donner's original, go out and rent
it instead of seeing this 2006 version. Then after
you've enjoyed that trashy but fun film, close
your eyes and replay the highlights of the movie
in your mind, only replacing Gregory Peck with
Liev Schreiber, Lee Remick with Julia Stiles, and
a constipated, pouting little brat as Damien.
That's all you need to tell your friends that you
saw the "new" film.
The 2006 version is credited
solely to one David Seltzer, writer of the
original. You would think Seltzer would take the
opportunity to work with director John Moore to
re-imagine, expand, and express the full force of
his Revelations concept for our current times.
You'd be wrong. Either Seltzer did no work at all
on the remake, or he was very cleverly and simply
printed up a new copy of his stale script, slapped
a fresh "sell by" date on the cover and
lit up a cigar. John Moore's movie was shot with
the exact same script as the original, line for
line and scene for scene. As a result, we are left
to sit in the dark watching the very slow
unravelling of a mystery that is mysterious to no
one.
If you thought Gus Van Sant's
"Psycho" reshoot was weird, check this
one out. It's like a community theater version of
that old classic "The Omen", filled with
all your favorite scenes. The Birthday Party
hanging -- check. The Priest skewering -- check.
The monkey attack -- check. Cemetery dogfight --
check. Shocking decapitation scene -- check. Most
of these scenes are exact replicas of the
original, only not as good. And when director
Moore gets creative and tries to do something
different with the familiar scenes, you wish he
would go back and make his replica instead.
Prague
once again stands in for all of
Europe
, but still looks like
Prague
. Fortunately
Prague
is very photogenic, and the movie is actually
rated R, which I have to give the filmmakers
credit in this land of bland PG-13 horror movies.
But if the film feels like "community
theater", the acting is thankfully as good as
expected. Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles, Mia Farrow
(whose casting is a joke in itself), Pete
Posthlewaite, David Thewlis and Michael Gambon are
all very good actors and do their best with the
material at hand. The problem is that while
they're all good at their craft, but they're not
movie stars.
The original "Omen"
depended heavily on its casting for its
effectiveness. For instance, Peck's movie star
persona as the father figure from "To Kill a
Mockingbird" is turned on its head as he
decides to kill a child. His gravitas drives the
movie, and the audience accepts the absurd plot
machinations because Peck convinces us that he
believes them. His presence and the black mass
score by Jerry Goldsmith save the movie from total
absurdity.
And that's another final nail
in the new "Omen's" coffin: They junked
the Oscar winning score by Jerry Goldsmith. Except
for a few piano notes from the original, we get
horror stings and suspense strings from Marco
Beltrami that is instantly forgettable. Why would
Fox Studios not use the original score with all
its Latin chanting and creepy Dies Irae riffs? The
music of "The Omen" is as tied to that
score as Herrmann's shrieking violins are to
"Psycho". A terrible choice, but
unfortunately right in line with all the other
wrong choices made by the creators of this 2006
version. It is, in the end, a dishonest and
pointless remake.
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