hredder" is a pretty idiotic movie. It's
completely random in just about everything it does and there's no rhyme or
reason for why things are the way they are. If there is one solace it's that the
film works quite well as a goofy, "Police Academy"-like spoof on
low-budget horror films. Because God knows "Shredder" employs so many
conventions of the genre as to be predictable in its inability to be even just a
little bit original.
Our little low-budget horror/comedy is about a group of
friends who treks to a remote ski lodge in upstate somewhere to do some
"shredding" (that is, snowboard) and have lots of sex. Well, not
really. They talk and act like they really want to have a lot of sex, but it's
mostly a tease. As it turns out only Slutty Robyn (Holly Towne) gets to have sex
with confused European Christophe (Brad Hawkins). Not that Slut Princess
Kimberly (Lindsey McKeon) doesn't give it her all. As played by McKeon, Kimberly
is the smuttiest girl in the world, but apparently that only goes for her
character, because actress McKeon and director Greg Huson has conspired to give
overt titillation but no follow-through worthy of a genre movie such as this.
The most fans can hope for is nudity without actual nudity, which McKeon is game
for, if not much else. What a cop out.
Not that sex matters in a movie like this. Everything is
pretty much played for laughs -- that is, except for the scenes that, for one
reason or another, play straight. Upon arriving at the lodge, which has been
closed after some murders, our group of supposed friends encounters a skier in
black clothes that is going around killing delinquent shredders on the mountain.
The killer, you see, is a stickler for the rules, and slaughters anyone who he
thinks has broken the etiquette of the mountain. And being that shredders are
notoriously outlaws because, you know, they're cool and stuff, the killer has
plenty of victims to choose from.
It's not that "Shredder" is all that funny, even
though it does have some good chuckles in it. The script by Huson and Craig
Carlson is generally random -- everything from its story to its narrative to its
characters existing for the simple reason that the writers thought it might be
interesting to put them together and kill them off one by one. That's it.
There's absolutely no other reason for why this movie is the way it is -- it
just is. For instance, there's absolutely no reason why serious Pike (Juleah
Weikel), our lead female, is friends with Kimberly, who would be the shallowest
person on the mountain if not for her airheaded Slut-in-Crime Robyn.
Also, Kimberly has come to the lodge with her Loyal
Boyfriend Cole (Scott Weinger), but she has yet to sleep with the guy and
actually plans on sleeping with some guy name Chaz or Chad. Which begs the
question: Why did she bring Cole with her? Or for that matter, why are they
dating at all, since Kimberly shows no affections for Cole whatsoever. In fact,
Kimberly is humping the leg of just about any male that crosses her path except
Cole, who as mentioned is not only Loyal, but a Clueless Idiot as well. Not just
clueless to Kimberly's inability to even put up a front to hide her need for sex
with men other than Cole, but to Pike's obvious (but illogical) crush on him.
The above is just a sample of "Shredder's"
complete randomness. The movie has no real ability to tell a coherent story, or,
it would seem, the desire to do so. As a result it's a bunch of gags strung
together with comedic one-liners and plenty of killings. The blood flows freely,
and while nothing about the movie or the characters make any sense whatsoever,
at least the whole thing wasn't as tedious or boring as it could have been if
the script had approached the film as something serious. I can only imagine what
a miserable time "Shredder" would have been had Huson and company
failed to see the inexplicable idiocy of their enterprise.
On a final note, the movie's funniest scenes involve the
actors as they attempt to con the audience into believing they're snowboarders.
It's a riot to hear these actors throw around words like "shred" and
"rip", especially since not a single one of them looks like they can
snowboard, or have even been around snow in their life. I'm not sure if the film
intended these "I'm a shredder, man!" dialogue to be funny, but the
outcome is nevertheless good for some chuckles.