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 lashers" is a low-budget Two Guys in a Room
movie, where much of the film (as the name may imply) consists of two guys
sitting in a room and talking endlessly about something insignificant to
chew up running time. At over 90 minutes, "Slashers" has plenty
of scenes were characters do nothing but stand in a room and talk
endlessly about nothing in order to chew up running time. Unfortunately
"Slashers" is also a splatter horror film, which would
seem to be the one genre not conducive to Two Guys in a Room
filmmaking.
And sure enough, "Slashers'" biggest fault
is its own ambitions. Yet another take on "extreme" Reality TV
ala "Series 7",
"El Nominado",
and "My
Little Eye", "Slashers" introduces us to a Japanese
game show where contestants battle three "slashers" in an
elaborate maze-like "danger zone", with the survivor winning
millions. The film opens with a parody of Japanese game shows, complete
with quirky Japanese hostess Miho (Claudine Shiraishi) introducing us to
the rules of the game. If you've seen Spike TV's relaunch of Takeshi
Kitano's "Takeshi's Castle" (aka "MXC") then you know
what I'm talking about.
Having made its way Stateside, the Japanese game show
is launching its first-ever all-American show, and soon we meet our motley
crew of contestants. Megan (Sarah Joslyn Crowder), a social activist who
looks to be in dire need of a bathroom break; ex-boxer and all-around
badass Devon (Tony Curtis Blondell); and four meat -- er, contestants.
It's eventually revealed through those long conversations between two
people in rooms (get the idea?) that the contestants all have reasons for
being on the show. Not that it matters, since this is a low-budget
splatter film, and all the audience really cares about is the blood and
guts.
Right off the bat you know "Slashers" is
either going to irritate you to no end or offer something approaching a
guilty pleasure. Its low-budget origins are obvious from the very first
frame, with the whole thing shot on a constantly moving DV. Maurice
Devereaux's decision to shoot the entire film from the cameraman's POV
goes hand in hand with the film's ambitious screenplay. Of course the
biggest problem, and the reason why Devereaux's "society is going to
hell and we're just letting it happen" themes are so obvious as to be
condescending, is that his actors are terrible.
The worst offender is lead Sarah Joslyn Crowder, who
seems to have been cast for two reasons: she has really big breasts, and
doesn't particularly mind exposing them often. The entire cast is awful,
but Crowder has to be the worst of the bunch. Crowder is asked to do so
much, with some truly inane lines of dialogue, that one almost feels sorry
for her. Of course the fact that she has only two expressions --
permanently dour and permanently constipated -- doesn't endear her to the
audience. (For an example of Ms. Crowder's "acting" ability, see
the screenshots -- she's the short one with the constantly exposed big
breasts and the permanently constipated look on her face.)
For those seeking a reason to put
"Slashers" in their guilty pleasure column, the gore is pretty
decent, and Devereaux, although supposedly shooting the entire film with a
single long take (not really, but that's the idea), manages some
interesting kills. One woman gets chainsaw'ed in half through a wall, and
a couple of contestants meet the wrong end of a hedge clipper. The script
also gets points for creativity. Whenever the slashers are about to make
their kill, the show orders everyone to stay in place while they cut to a
commercial, as to give the audience an incentive to return. If someone
moves during the commercial break, a metal collar around their neck shocks
them.
There are also some funny stabs at the expense of
Japanese game shows, especially since the truth is, you just know
those guys aren't far away from this type of show. In another great gag,
the slashers are always disrobing their victims, having been instructed by
the producers to titillate the audience. Also, whenever a female
contestant is cornered and facing certain death, she can get a respite by
flashing her twin assets at the camera. Those are the kinds of inspired
gags that make "Slashers" a worthwhile kick.
As a low-budget horror film, you really can't fault
"Slashers" too much for its lack of good actors, although I
still find it hard to believe anyone would cast Crowder in the lead role.
Of course you can't really put all the blame on Crowder, since the
character, as written, is inexcusably annoying. But if you can pretend
that the Megan character doesn't exist, and those are just two big boobs
bouncing around in the air, then "Slashers" has moments that'll
make you grin.
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