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 f you've seen any one of the "Star Wars" movies,
then you've seen "Star Wars: Episode 2 – Attack of the Clones."
Every movie in the series is plotted exactly the same, with approximately 2 big
action sequences followed by a final battle that closes things out. And
in-between, you get stilted dialogue, amateurish acting, and a whole lot of eye
candy. That's the franchise from an objective point of view, and nothing else.
"Star Wars 2" opens 10 years after the events of
"Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace" ("Star
Wars 1"), with Amidala (Natalie Portman) now a Senator instead of a
Queen and finding herself the target of bounty hunter Jango Fett. The Jedi
Council sends Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and his apprentice
Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) to protect the Senator. After a scuffle,
Kenobi heads off after Jango, while Anakin takes Amidala back home to Naboo to
continue protecting her. Along the way, evil Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian
McDiarmid) manipulates the Senate and begins creating an army of clones that
looks a lot like Stormtroopers, and a whole lot of robots blow up and stuff.
The only thing slightly new about "Star Wars 2"
is that the special effects have gotten better, and now aliens and droids move
onscreen as easily and effortlessly as their human counterparts. The digital
scenes are breathtaking and flesh and blood interacts seamlessly with their
artificial environment, and more than half of the film could be guessed at being
completely digital. But there is one big downside to having all this technology
at your disposal: you start forgetting that movies are about human emotions, and
about humans having said emotions.
Like "Star
Wars 1," "Star Wars 2" suffers terribly from too much
artificiality and not enough humanity. The first action sequence, a high-speed
chase through the bright and crowded cityscape of an alien planet, provides the
perfect example. The only thing that is real about the scene is McGregor and
Christensen, and like characters in "Blade
2," the flesh and blood humans change to cgi and back again. The rest
of the scene looks great and is quite incredible, but after 5 minutes of endless
zooming cars, cgi aliens, towering skyscrapers, and flashing neon lights, things
went downhill because, frankly, once you've seen this sort of thing for 5
straight minutes, why do you need to see it for an additional 15 or 20 minutes?
The answer is, you don't. In this case, more is too much, and less would have
been better.
The movie's standout scenes all involve humans battling
each other, but there are so little of these types of action to speak off. There
is one large sequence in an alien coliseum that has dozens of Jedis fighting
robots and droids and winged aliens. Very nice to look at, but what's the point?
After seeing the battle go on for 10 minutes, I didn't really need to see it for
another 20 minutes. (Also, for robots with supposedly computer targeting
systems, those droids can't shoot the side of a barn.) The phrase
"seemingly endless" comes to mind here. Again, another example of too
much being way too much. Also, watching an army of lifeless tin cans
battling lightsaber-wielding Jedis in an endless parade of cgi-manipulated
action is not entertaining, but rather repetitive and passionless.
George Lucas cannot write romance to save his life. The man
has absolutely no idea about romance, about women, or about passion. Take the
awkward scenes between Amidala and Anakin, as the two "court" each
other. That is, if you've been living under a rock all your life and think what
is happening onscreen is how real people court. Lucas and fellow screenwriter
Jonathan Hale (who I doubt had very much influence in the look of the final
screenplay) fumbles their way through these scenes, seemingly biding their time
until the next artificial battle sequence. It was painful to see such amateurish
writing when you know the background is worth millions.
The only sequence that saves the film is a too-short one
where Anakin discovers that his mother has been captured by raiders and goes to
seek revenge. Unfortunately, following one of his tried and true formulas, Lucas
cuts away from Anakin's revenge scenes to follow Obi-Wan as he pursues Jango
Fett. Continuity falls all over the place and seems to have no rhyme and reason
for being save for Lucas to do his signature wipe/intercut editing style. As it
stands, Kenobi's hunt for bountyhunter Fett is long and uninvolving, and even a
brief scuffle between Kenobi and Jango Fett in a harsh rain is not all that
exciting. How could that be possible?
And the less said about the acting the better. George Lucas
has forgotten how to direct actors. As she did in "Star
Wars 1," the very talented Natalie Portman once again shows absolutely
no range. Ewan McGregor, it seems, has since realized that real acting isn't
required in a George Lucas film. The only standout is Hayden Christensen, who
manages to sell everything he does, from the temperamental Jedi apprentice to
the wow-he's-so-horny Jedi hitting relentlessly on Amidala. Of course, this is
probably because Christensen has yet to realize Lucas doesn't really care about
his performance, just as long as he stands in the right place in order to
interact with Lucas' army of cgi aliens.
All that said, "Star Wars 2" is what it is, and
nothing else. Let's be frank, shall we? The "Star Wars" franchise has
never been known for good acting or excellent screenplays, and "Star Wars
2" continues that tradition. The other plus for "Star Wars 2" is
seeing how events are taking shape, since by now everyone knows what's laying in
wait for the characters in the near future. The Jango Fett character is an
excellent addition, since we all know he is the father of Boba Fett, who is
probably the most popular character in the whole franchise (despite a
pathetically weak death in "Return of the Jedi," natch). Lucas seems
to really know the direction that his prequels need to take, and what needs to
happen, in order for the original 3 films to make sense. Kudos to him for that,
if not much else.
Dear George Lucas. Next time hire a real screenwriter,
and let him do more than add one-liners to the screenplay. In fact, let
him write the whole screenplay from your story ideas, but please George,
I beg of you, don't do it yourself again.
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