|
 t's
interesting to note the difference in narrative
approach of John Carpenter's original "The
Fog" and this 2005 remake. While
Carpenter's 1980 version elects to tell the tale
by keeping the viewer in the dark, choosing
instead to unravel the horror of the events
themselves, the 2005 version is determined to
solve the mystery even before the mystery is
proven to be worthy. As a result, Rupert
Wainwright's "The Fog" goes out of its
way to have its Fair Hair Lead played by Maggie
Grace (Jamie Lee Curtis in the original) visiting
libraries and museums in the hopes of uncovering
answers before anything of real consequence as yet
to occur. And true to the genre conventions of
today, Grace's Elizabeth Williams is, of course,
having psychic visions of past events, a familiar
gimmick for lazy screenwriters to impart
exposition onto the audience.
"The Fog" is set in
the prosperous seaside town of
Antonio
Bay
, which is about to celebrate its visionary (or so
they believe) four original founding fathers. As
the celebration grows near, a strange,
supernatural fog begins to roll in from the sea,
carrying with it a ghost ship. At the same time,
absent college student Elizabeth Williams (Maggie
Grace) has returned home, where she renews
acquaintances with hunky boyfriend Nick Castle
("Smallville's" Tom Welling) and her
estranged mother. Meanwhile, Nick's boatmate
Spooner (DeRay Davis) gets accused of murder,
although we know it was the fog that did it. Damn
that fog.
It probably comes as no
surprise that 2005's "The Fog" is as
superfluous as
Hollywood
remakes get. The film is written by Cooper Layne,
whose only previous credit was "The
Core", a big-budget movie devoid of any
desire for originality. To prove just how
pointless his remake is, Cooper has elected to
keep whole scenes from Carpenter's original,
including the names of the main characters, except
here everyone is a decade or two younger. The
storyline, on the other hand, has been needlessly
altered, as if Layne felt the need to change up
the original just enough to qualify for WGA
credit.
The film is directed by
Rupert Wainwright, who is apparently too busy
orchestrating elaborate CGI camera movements
instead of engineering effective boo scares.
Besides having no real impetus to
"re-imagine" Carpenter's original,
"The Fog" is saddled with the
conventions of the horror genre as defined today.
To wit: the Fair Hair Lead who is tasked with
discovering the truth by investigating old reports
and asking questions of adults that they refuse to
answer; the Loyal Boyfriend who doesn't really do
a whole lot except be loyal to his Fair Hair Lead
girlfriend; the stereotypical Sassy Black Guy who
sticks out like a sore thumb with his inherent
Sassiness; and of course, Stupid Adults that can't
be counted on to provide any help four our
battling young TV stars turned movie stars.
The film's original rating
was a PG-13, but the Powers That Be, as they are
wont to do, are pushing an "Unrated"
version of the movie, which is the version being
reviewed here. The "Unrated" version
clocks in at an hour and 42 minutes, and although
I've not seen the original PG-13 cut, I can't say
as if this version has anymore gore than what
you'd get from a PG-13 horror film to begin with.
There is a mild love scene between Grace and
Welling in a shower, but no bodyparts are shown or
even hinted at, so addition nudity would seem to
not be the reason either. At this point it's
anybody's guess if this "Unrated"
version truly is a new cut of the film at all.
To be fair, it's not as if
there was never a possibility that Wainwright's
version could have surpassed Carpenter's original,
which was itself nothing of real merit. If
anything, Carpenter's original is often derided
for being unintentionally goofy. With plenty of
money, studio backing, and major advances in the
field of filmmaking, Wainwright has produced such
a poor effort that it can't help but encourage
people to look at Carpenter's 1980 original with
even more fondness. After all, tasked with making
a movie about a supernatural fog and of all
things, pirate ghosts (or is that ghost pirates?),
Carpenter and writing partner Debra Hill still
managed to make a somewhat entertaining picture.
Wainwright and scribe Cooper Layne can't even be
bothered with that whole "entertaining"
part.
"The Fog's" failure
doesn't come as any real surprise.
Hollywood
has dipped into this same vat for teen consumption
over and over, and they'll continue to do so as
long as clueless teens keep paying full price to
see them. Unfortunately, considering the dipping
IQ of current American teens,
Hollywood
isn't going to stop making movies like "The
Fog" anytime soon. With a budget of $18
million, the film eventually took in twice as much
at the box office. Combine that with DVD sales and
rentals, don't be surprise when "The Fog 2:
Smog Attack" starring the latest batch of WB
teen heartthrobs roll into your local Blockbuster
sometime next year. |
