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 he Twins Effect 2" comes to us a year after
the box office success of the "The
Twins Effect", a movie about vampires; the sequel, set in ancient
China, is a sequel in name only. Simply put, I found the original grossly
idiotic at best and grossly moronic at worst. These aren't films, they're
manufactured commercials for the Twins; and hence, the Twins aren't
actors, they're products. In any case, the sequel also goes by the title,
"The Huadu Chronicles: Blade of the Rose". You figure it out.
The clearly big-budgeted movie stars Charlene Choi as
Spring, a slaver (she sells men) and her partner in crime Gillian Chung as
Blue, a serious-minded warrior. Both women lives in a kingdom ruled with
an iron fist by an Empress who, because of a past betrayal by the man she
loved, has deemed that men are only good for torture and servitude. Blue
is ordered by the evil Empress to bring back a stolen object, while Spring
goes in search of a traveling actor on the behest of an overweight female
General. The two stumble across Jaycee Chan, the most blatant example of
nepotism -- er, I mean, a traveling actor named Char who is actually
dumber than he looks. And the guy looks pretty dumb.
The first thing that is immediately evident about
"The Twins Effect 2" is just how "epic" it was
intended to be. Set in some indeterminate ancient time, the film has
nothing to do with vampires and is more of a fantasy-based story along the
lines of "Legend
of Zu" and "The
Storm Riders". And like those other films, "Twins" is a
victim of its own grand ambitions. The film is chock full of action scenes
employing elaborate choreography, "This is soooo cool!" poses,
and enough special effects to make the average mindless Hollywood summer
fare blush. Every scene is jammed full of extras, great big halls, and
elaborate sets. It all stinks of pandering for an "epic" tag
just a little too much.
The film claims two directors, Patrick Leung and
long-time action choreographer Corey Yuen. You can see some of Yuen's
influences in the film's many action scenes, but they're nowhere near the
caliber of Yuen's work in "So
Close". Despite its high production values, the CGI is sometimes
thrown at the screen with such wanton disregard that they only end up
cluttering the action. The film pulls out all the tricks, including more
than a few "Matrix"-like
slow-motion fights. Needless to say, the fact that I had to mention the
Wachowski brothers' movie means there's nothing innovative about the
fights in "Twins". Also, there are so many slow motion and
special effects that there is absolutely no believability in the fights at
all. If these guys actually know kung fu, I'm the Twins' long lost sister.
It all comes down to a simple formula: if you like
the Twins as celebrities, you'll probably like them in just about
anything, "The Twins Effect 2" included. Despite its big budget
and special effects galore, the movie won't make any new converts. Even
though I've loosened a bit on my general indifference to the trademarked
duo (mostly due to Chung's surprisingly endearing appearance in "Moving
Targets"), this is probably the last film starring the short
stuffs I will willingly see again. It's not that they're bad actors
(they're slightly average, or maybe just a tad below that), but rather I
just don't care for their peppy and generic brand of entertainment. Having
said that, if seeing Charlene Choi slap on a fake mustache and pretend to
be a man is your cup of tea, you'll have tons of fun with this movie.
I haven't made any bones about my general dislike for
the current crop of 20-something Hong Kong pop stars dominating the market
at the moment. They're interchangeable musicians with delusions of acting
skills -- or interchangeable actors with delusions of singing skills.
Aside from their horrid ability to pick decent films, the general
sucktitude of those films are akin to watching 24 hours of Britney Spears
and Christina Aguilera try to out-skank each other (i.e. watching MTV).
Aside from the headlining stars, "Twins Effect
2" is, like everything else about it, loaded to the gills with money.
Tony Leung Ka Fai ("The
Lover") shows up as a buffoon, Edison Chen manages to strip away
all the respect he had earned from me via "Moving Targets", and
Daniel Wu ("Purple
Storm") plays a eunuch. Donnie Yen shows up intermittently to
lend some credibility to the fights, even managing to take part in the
film's only saving grace: a fast and furious fight between himself and
Jackie Chan (who shows up just long enough to fight Yen). This scene alone
earns the film an extra star; without it, "Twins Effect 2" is a
pointless 1-star movie in search of a reason for taking up valuable space
in the universe.
And for those wondering, "The Twins Effect
2" also marks the movie debut of Jaycee Chan, son of Jackie, the
movie's producer. How does J.C. Jr. do? Well, Jaycee is basically Jackie,
but without the wacky stunts. And we all know no one ever paid Jackie to
"act".
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