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 he Japanese film "Waterboys" is (as my nephew
would say) one of the gayest films I've seen in a long time. But as Seinfeld
would chime in just about now -- "Not that that's a bad thing." The
film is a mixture of "The Bad News Bears" and "The Full
Monty," in which misfits attempt to accomplish something they're just not
cut out for, and in which no one gives them a chance to succeed in. With
"Monty" it was stripping, and with "Waterboys" it's the
exclusively women's sport of synchronize swimming.
"Waterboys" is an extremely gay film in that it's
a happy-go-lucky film with no mean bone in its body, as well as being heavy on
gay themes. (Take a look at the box cover, natch.) There's nothing very original
about "Waterboys" except for its sport of choice, but what really sets
the film apart from others in its genre is that it's unabashedly silly and
there's very little (almost nonexistent) attempt at a serious plot.
The cast of "Waterboys" is 5 male high schoolers
that are losers in everything they've tried. Suzuki is the ring leader, probably
the most normal (which is not saying a lot) of the 5; there's a math genius who
is terrified of water and a homosexual boy who has a childhood crush on one of
the other 4 boys; there's also a scrawny kid addicted to working out and Sato, a
loudmouth with an Afro. (Yes, an Afro.) The boys are actually tricked into
synchronize swimming by their new and very attractive female coach, who ends up
dumping them for maternity leave soon after. The story should end here, with our
boys off the hook, but it turns out they don't like being called losers and is
determined to carry out the sport to the bitter end. This, of course, gets them
nothing but more ridicule by their more masculine-minded peers. (Actually even
the females ridicule them.)
From here, we are treated to the usual sets of
misadventures and revelations inherent in these movies. There's the first
practice that turns disastrous (a very funny sequence), followed by the
coming of an eccentric coach who has all the answers, and concluding with the
boy's eventual triumph in the form of acceptance by their detractors as well as
newfound self-respect for themselves. There's even a scene where the coach
introduces synchronize swimming to a room full of boys, only to end up with just
our 5 main actors (since the rest fled). This, of course, is a scene taken
directly from "Cool Runnings," a film about the first-ever Jamaican
bobsled team. (If you haven't seen the film and can't figure out how the concept
of a Jamaican bobsled team is funny, let me just say that there is no such thing
as snow in Jamaica!)
After going into training, the boys end up patterning their
routine after dolphins at a Japanese Sea World. It's also at the water park that
many comedic moments take place, including one boy's attempt to resuscitate a
dead dolphin by blowing into its hole, only he doesn't know which is the right
hole to blow into!
"Waterboys" is funny from beginning to end, and
what's most likeable about the film is just how happy-go-lucky it is. To watch
"Waterboys," one gets the impression that one out of every 5 person
you meet in Japan is gay. This, of course, is the preference of writer/director
Shinobu Yaguchi, who turns what might have been a slightly awkward movie about
young boys cavorting in nothing but teeny-tiny swim briefs (for much of the
film) into a fun and harmless experience. That isn't to say I never once
entertained the notion that the film was mildly exploitative, because the film is
laden with homosexual sensuality – although in an innocent sort of way.
Besides a pedestrian plot, the film sometimes mirrors
"The Full Monty" perhaps just a little bit too closely. Although that
doesn't really matter, since as the saying goes, even the Ancient Greeks copied
their myths from someone else. What sets the film apart is its comedic gags,
everything from Sato's burning Afro to Suzuki's inability to tell his tough,
karate-kicking girlfriend that he's (gulp!) learning to be a synchronize
swimmer. The boys' first practice session, where Sato loses his Afro and another
boy loses his briefs, is, in a word, hilarious.
See? Subtitled films can be funny.
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