I don’t usually do these celebrity list thing, but I like me a good Robert Downey Jr. story, and this one is pretty awesome. The “Iron Man” star has been named by Entertainment Weekly as their 2008 Entertainer of the Year, which I hear comes with a nice cash prize of $500 buckaroos and a handheld compact mirror full of blow. Just kidding about the blow part, although the cash prize is supposedly real. (Well not really, but let’s just go with it.) In any case, in bestowing Downey Jr. the title of Entertainer of the Year, EW also runs down the laundry list of Downey’s past convictions — and yes, there were oh so many! — as well as what he’s up to now. In short: “Sherlock Holmes” and something called “The Soloist” that may or may not get him some Oscar buzz.
So what exactly has our man of the hour gone through before his second act as a movie star? How about these whoppers for starters:
He drove naked down Sunset Boulevard, throwing imaginary rats out his car window. He got arrested for trespassing when he mistakenly wandered into a neighbor’s house and passed out in the kid’s bedroom. He served nearly a year in a California state prison for drug possession, and then did eight months on Ally McBeal, until he got booted from the show after he got busted a couple more times, once in a hotel room in Palm Springs with cocaine and a Wonder Woman costume.
I love that last part. “…he got booted from the show after he got busted a couple more times, once in a hotel room in Palm Springs with cocaine and a Wonder Woman costume.” Now what did you think he was doing with the Wonder Woman costume? No, better yet, don’t tell me. Just imagining all the crazy scenarios Downey could have gotten himself into with that costume is so much more delicious.
As a result of his, shall we say, transgressions, Downey became a punchline on late-night talk shows, and even The Simpsons had a throwaway insult. (And yes, we can laugh about it now, because they’re all in the past. And I think even Downey would laugh at what fresh hell he had survived, too.) Surprisingly, there isn’t a whole lot of Downey Jr. zingers out there on YouTube, but I did find this one. It’s lame, I know, but just imagine this skit times 100 back in the ’90s.