Snip Snip. That’s the Sound of the Red Dawn Remake Getting its Balls Cut Off.

In MGM’s long-delayed remake of “Red Dawn”, the villains are the Chinese, replacing the Russians of the ’80s original. Which makes sense. They’re huge — population-wise, economics-wise, and military-wise. Who else would have the stones (and the resources) to invade the good ol USA but the Chinese?

Unless, of course, you’re trying to sell the remake to Asia (and specifically the 1.3 billion potential Chinese moviegoers), in which case, uh, the North Koreans make more sense as villains. Wait, what? How could a country that can barely keep its lights on at night launch a full-scale (and apparently successful) invasion of the United States of America? Um, super secret North Korean kung fu?

Not quite, but that’s the word from the LATimes, who reports that because MGM doesn’t want to piss off our Chinese overlords (er, I mean, the Chinese Government), they’ve now gone back and digitally erased all signs and symbols of Chinese presence in the invasion. Likewise, original dialogue that pointed to the invaders being Chinese have now been altered to point fingers at the North Koreans instead.

So what does all this mean?

People close to the picture said the changes will cost less than $1 million and involve changing an opening sequence summarizing the story’s fictional backdrop, re-editing two scenes and using digital technology to transform many Chinese symbols to Korean. It’s impossible to eliminate all references to China, the people said, though the changes will give North Korea a much larger role in the coalition that invades the U.S.

“We were initially very reluctant to make any changes,” said Tripp Vinson, one of the movie’s producers. “But after careful consideration we constructed a way to make a scarier, smarter and more dangerous ‘Red Dawn’ that we believe improves the movie.”

On the one hand, I admire Vinson and MGM for realizing they’re in the business of making money, so they’re hedging their bets as much as possible given how huge a market China has become, even though China hasn’t actually said a word to them on the subject matter. Although they’ve easily made their “displeasure” known in the past. On the other hand, it must be hard to walk around without balls.

Then again, the whole thing could be moot. Word is, MGM is having a hell of a time getting someone to distribute the movie, which may mean it could very well end up as one heck of an expensive direct-to-DVD movie. Or it could be locked away in a vault somewhere. The latter option might be for the best. Who wants to see a neutered movie, anyway? At this point, it’ll just be sad.

The film was directed by Dan Bradley, who is making his feature film debut. I’m really curious to hear what he says about this, but so far, he’s keeping quiet.

So does this mean the Chinese REALLY does want to be our friends?



About Nix

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Editor/Writer at BeyondHollywood.com. Likes: long walks on the beach and Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic movies. Dislikes: 3D, shaky cam, and shaky cam in 3D. Got a site issue? Wanna submit Movie/TV news? Or to email me in regards to anything on the site, you can do so at nix (at) beyondhollywood.com.

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  • justjoe

    Who gives a crap? Seriously, North korea comes up as a believable villain as well, considering the latest confrontations (missile attacks) on south korea an their increasing number of actual active nuclear programs! On the other hand, what is the biggest threat coming from China, besides invading the western world with noodle shops and cheap technology???

    • http://www.beyondhollywood.com/ Nix

      I agree with you, there is no reason why China would even go through the hassle of invading the US, but if your movie is predicated on an invasion, China is the only viable option given their vast resources. North Korea? Not so much.

      • Doubleh55

        I can’t figure out if that’s just for release in China or they’re going to do this in America too. Personally they should just release the fucking thing and move on with your life.

    • Joseph Villegas

      You obviously have no clue about how quickly and rapidly China is ramping up their military. They 10 troops for every one of ours. They also have nukes, missles that can defeat our aircraft carrier battle groups, stealth planes, and their young officer corps is being taught expansionist propaganda. What does a loan shark do when you can’t pay the debt?

      • guest

        The Chinese have way too much money invested in the US for them to attack us. We owe well over a trillion dollars to them, and that’s money China is not going to give away for free by attacking us. You don’t kill the golden goose.

        • http://www.grifiti.com Tin Hoang

          Technically it wouldn’t be an invasion. They’d just be collecting something they already own. Kinda like the bank taking over a foreclosed home and kicking out the tenants. Only this time, they throw the tenants into jail, while some other tenants try and steal it back!

        • http://www.grifiti.com Tin Hoang

          Technically it wouldn’t be an invasion. They’d just be collecting something they already own. Kinda like the bank taking over a foreclosed home and kicking out the tenants. Only this time, they throw the tenants into jail, while some other tenants try and steal it back!

  • Juggernaut

    They really need to jus scrap this whole project! Remake Soul Man if you need to defile another C. Thomas Howell movie.

    • http://www.grifiti.com Tin Hoang

      Soul Man is a sacred cow. Don’t start giving anyone ideas about remaking that!

  • Zook

    one of their movie editors should just release the real version virally!

  • Zook

    one of their movie editors should just release the real version virally!

  • Johnkid2

    It doesnt say that north korea was the only invading country, it said they were leading the coalition. Oh and the idea that china owns us is funny, all we have to do is stop selling them our trash which they then sell back to us. The idea of debt is kinda silly anyway, all the gov has to do is just print more bills and not tell anyone, and now the “OH THAT WOULD JUST MAKE INFLATION” arguement, and my counter arguement is that if no one knew about it then it wouldnt make a difference… How is inflation an issue anyway, money isnt actually worth anything. That almighty dollar we all know and love is only worth something because enough of us say it does. Just thinking about this drives me nuts… i mean how did the fuckin indians do it, there must have been a big counterfit rock problem… i think all trade should be done with oxyconton i mean shit its already in just about the same denominations as money 5 15 30 80 pretty close if you ask me… fuck i would rather eat my money then burn it at the bar.. the ammount of birds i would be killing with one stone. Shit man.. Rant over, just really pumped up on the vyvanse, oh and by the way, i was taking a poop the whole time i was writing this, and its ok because im a vet.. LOL IM SOOOO EXCITED FOR RED DAWN TO COME OUT!!! I WANNA HAVE BUTT RELATIONS WITH THE NEW THOR/KIRK/SWAYZE!