Star Wars Episode 7’s Villains Revealed? Flashbacks? Awesome Cameos?

Star Wars Logo

So yeah, I don’t know “Star Wars,” which is odd since I really like the movies. I mean, I’m one of those dolts who forced people to go watch the re-release of the original trilogy with me. I really like the franchise, but aside from playing a couple of “Star Wars” games and reading some “Star Wars” comic books during my comic book reading days, I have no idea what’s going on with the franchise, or anything relating to canon, or whatever.

This “like” but not “obsessive love” of the franchise is why I don’t post every single “Star Wars: Episode 7” rumor that comes down the pipe. There is like, what, a dozen of these things every day? J.J. Abrams and the cast can’t let out a fart without a gazillion websites trying to figure out the “meaning” behind the stinky outburst.

So, with that caveat out of the way, here’s the latest possible “Star Wars” rumor that you might like to hear.

Latino Review says they know who the movie’s villains will be. A bunch of dudes called the Inquisitors. Or something. Is this a SPOILER? Should I have put a SPOILER tag on this? Who the hell knows. But I’m assuming if you saw the title of this post and clicked on it anyway, you’re not turning back now, so…

The Inquisitors are the villains of Star Wars: Episode VII and the name of the main villain in Star Wars: Rebels. They seem to be loosly based on the now-deleted Expanded Universe Inquistors mixed with the hardended Sith look of Rebels’ villain. The Inquisitors are defenders of the Sith Order and they’ve been around for a long time. Just how long is what turns Episode VII’s story on it’s head.

These are your Episode 7 bad guys, apparently:

Star Wars Inquisitors

And oh, they also add this:

When our hero(es) find Luke and the Inquisitors are revealed, Luke’s explanation on the history of this order is going to trigger a flashback to explain that the Inquisitors have been tied into the Sith all along.

Remember when we broke Billie Lourd’s casting (Lourd is the biological daughter of Carrie Fisher)? That’s not so she can play a Solo kid, it’s so she can play a much younger Princess Leia than we’ve ever seen before in this flashback.

But wait, there’s more!

The Inquisitors will be seen serving Darth Vader in flashback.

Yes, Darth Vader will be on screen, briefly, in Star Wars: Episode VII. We’re not done with the dark prince of the Sith quite yet.

So there you go.

Inquisitors. Flashback to a younger Princess Leia. Darth Vader cameo.

Now your Friday is complete, so go out and watch “The Expendables 3” or to play basketball or something, you numbskulls.

Darth Vader