Stephen King’s best stories are his short stories, where King doesn’t run out of steam about three-fourths of the way through, as he normally does with his novels, and has to resort to, say, a giant spider in a sewer or alien slugs from outer space for his endings. Really, guys, if that “It” ending doesn’t make you giggle like a school girl when you read it again (or God forbid, see the movie version), then you’ve probably never kissed a girl. Speaking of bad writing, in a recent interview with USA Weekend, Stephen King would like you to know that while he appreciates J.K. Rowling for being inspired by him, he doesn’t think all that highly of “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer. In fact, King thinks she’s a pretty crappy writer, to tell you the truth.
Says the Bangor Maine resident to USA Weekend:
“Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.
People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and it’s not particularly threatening because they’re not overtly sexual. A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal with yet.”
The last movie based on a Stephen King book, meanwhile, had giant bugs attacking a grocery store. Plus, there was a big mist or something.
But don’t be sad, Stephenie Meyer, while Stephen King has no belief in your writing ability whatsoever, he has even less respect for James Patterson. Plus, he thinks that H.P. Lovecraft guy was aiiight, but definitely nothing special. You know who King thinks is really good? Jodi Picoult. Yes, I’ve never heard of her, either. Then again, the last time I picked up an honest to goodness novel, it had Fabio on the cover. In my defense, I was just buying it for my girlfriend. Honest.
Below: Honest, J.K. Rowling is ecstatic that Stephen King likes her more than Stephenie Meyer. It’s just that, well, she’s British, and this is her “happy” face.
