I’m pretty sure just about every fanboy in the world was excited when they heard about a live-action “G.I. Joe” movie. The prospect of seeing Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow on the big screen, karate kicking the crap out of each other, is the stuff geekgasms are made of. Then the promos started coming out, and we found out one of the Wayan Brothers had gotten involved, and before you know it, all that enthusiasm quickly turned sour. Now people are waiting for “G.I. Joe” with a mixture of dread and “Oh my God please don’t let this be a raping of my childhood”. But have no fear, kids. Stephen Sommers wants to reassure you that this movie will be good. Or at least, I think that’s the point of talking to Entertainment Weekly.
On his Bond inspirations:
“I always loved the old Bonds,” he says. “It’s funny now how Bond wants to be Bourne. I loved Quantum of Solace, but it was like, man, this is a completely different movie to the Bonds I grew up with. In a very contemporary way, G.I. Joe is inspired by the memory of the kind of movies I saw when I was younger. I remember being in the theater for Thunderball and the big underwater battle at the end of that movie just blew my socks off. In G.I. Joe, there’s an underwater battle under the polar icecap that’s Thunderball times 10!”
On the Sienna Miller-created gossip that Sommers forced her to wear a bra that heightened her girly girls so she would be more busty in the movie:
“Everybody here laughed because they know I would NEVER say that to an actress,” says the filmmaker. “I guess the costume department gave her a tight fitting bra, but no one gave her rubber breasts or whatever. It is 100 percent Sienna Miller.”
I don’t have much to say about the whole Bond inspiration, as I’ll take Sommers at face value that he means it. But the whole Sienna Miller boobie issue? I don’t know what the big deal is. Sienna Miller, as visually pleasing to the eye as she is, is also flat as a board, so what’s wrong with a little, ahem, enhancements? This is, after all, a guy’s movie, and last I heard, guys don’t mind big’uns, artificially inflated or not.
Below: “No, seriously, up here. UP HERE. The guns. No, not THOSE guns. These guns. Sigh. Nevermind.”