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Wrong Turn (2003) Movie Review
“Wrong Turn” benefits from a big budget, which allows it to be more competent than usual for films in its genre. Essentially a Teen Slasher, with 3 inbred hillbillies in lieu of a masked
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The Hulk (2003) Movie Review
“The Hulk” is probably the best comic book adaptation of 2003, which is unofficially the Year of the Superheroes. What “The Hulk” has going for it is a sure hand by director Ang Lee
Read More »Nikos the Impaler (2003) Movie Review
When a film opens with the titular character getting gutted by a sword, his insides spilling out, and then the character grabbing his own intestines and taking a big juicy bite, the viewer has
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Helen of Troy (2003) Mini-Series TV Review
As if channeling the oracle Cassandra, screenwriter Ronnie Kern (who I suspect is a woman, but I could be wrong) must have known he/she was in for some backlash by people who spent their
Read More »Tube (2004) Movie Review
Two things about “Tube”: In the beginning, during a shootout at the airport, just ignore the fact that you never see anyone reload, even though there are enough bullets flying back and forth to
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Finding Nemo (2003) Movie Review
Let me confess that American-made animation is not the type of thing I go out of my way to see, since most movies always seem to be adaptations of other Disney movies, only with
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Army of Darkness: Official “Bootleg” Version (1993) Movie Review
Sam Raimi’s “Army of Darkness” (aka “Evil Dead 3 “, aka “Bruce Campbell vs. Army of the Dead”), is a low-budget film with a big budget. What that means is, despite having a big
Read More »Asian Charlie’s Angels (2001) Movie Review
Here’s the odd thing: most of Christy Chung’s co-stars record their dialogue using sync sound, but only Chung’s dialogue is entirely dubbed from beginning to end! It would be interesting to find out why
Read More »Ripley’s Game (2002) Movie Review
A few years ago a movie called “The Talented Mr. Ripley” came out starring Matt Damon (“The Bourne Identity”). It was the first adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel of the same name. Highsmith wrote
Read More »Counterstrike (2003) Movie Review
Here’s the thing: I really don’t care that the filmmakers of “Counterstrike” decided to make the President of the United States a woman, but why in the world does the President dress like a
Read More »The New Option (2002) Movie Review
“The New Option” is more police drama than an action movie. If one were to excise the film’s only gunbattle, which closes out the movie, the film would be devoid of any gunplay. And
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Art of Revenge (2002) Movie Review
After her husband of 7 years leaves her because, as he tells his best friend, he wants to screw hot chicks (or something to that effect), career woman Lara (Joyce Hyser) puts everything on
Read More »Wild Card (2003) Movie Review
It behooves me not to take everything I see in movies at face value, but if police work in South Korea is anything remotely similar to what’s portrayed in their cop movies, then I’m
Read More »My Dream Girl (2003) Movie Review
So excuse me if I thought I was watching a movie when I put on “My Dream Girl”, and not listening to a musical CD. Apparently my definition of movie, and that of the
Read More »Chasing Papi (2003) Movie Review
It’s probably no surprise to hear me say that “Chasing Papi” is light fluff. It’s harmless, thankfully quick (at 75 minutes of running time sans closing credits), and nearly all the faces that show
Read More »Out for a Kill (2003) Movie Review
Seagal’s latest DTV opus, “Out for a Kill”, proves once and for all that every conceivable Generic Action Movie title has been taken. Having squandered eye-catching titles like “Hard to Kill” and “Marked for
Read More »Identity (2002) Movie Review
“Identity” is a lot smarter than “Basic”, although the two movies essentially pride themselves on being Head Trip films and thus, fooling the audience with their cleverness. Whereas “Basic” really has no other reason
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Attila (2001) Mini-Series TV Review
After Attila the Hun has raided her village, slaughtered her people, and made her into a slave, a young woman name N’Kara falls madly in love with him, and vice versa. Your guess is
Read More »Freddy vs. Jason (2003) Movie Review
Here’s what I think happened. The original writers of “Freddy vs. Jason” realized very early on that their movie was going to be a combination of insider camp and over-the-top mayhem. After all, when
Read More »Drunken Monkey (2003) Movie Review
I must confess that when it comes to Old School Hong Kong martial arts period films, I’m not privy to a lot of background. For instance, I am familiar with exactly zero actors in
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