Taylor Lautner is Stretch Armstrong — in 3D!

For a kid who was this close to losing out on the franchise of a lifetime, young Taylor Lautner sure has his hands in a lot of pies. In fact, if he actually ends up doing all the movies and projects he’s committed himself to, he might just end up either surpassing all his “Twilight” co-stars combined, or burn out before he hits his ’20s. It’ll be intriguing to find out. Right now, he’s got everything from another “Twilight” movie (or two) in the wings, then “Northern Lights”, then the “Max Steel” franchise to front, the “Die Hard with Teens” movie “Cancun”, and now … another franchise, “Stretch Armstrong” has been made official with the werewolf kid in the lead. And oh yeah, Lautner turns 18 later this month. What were you doing with your time when you were 18?

Universal Pictures has made it official to Access Hollywood that Lautner is their stretchy leading man in a “Stretch Armstrong” movie that will be shot in — what else? — 3D. The character will be based on the Hasbro toy where kids can pull and stretch ol Stretchy and, you know, do other stuff to it. I really have no idea why that is supposed to be fun, but then again, back in the day they also had slinkys. Slinkys!

There is no plot on the “Stretch Armstrong” movie yet, but since Lautner is a teenager, I’m assuming it’s going to be about a kid who can stretch. Yeah, not a real stretch there. Ahem.

Hasbro has struck gold with some of their properties, including the mega hit franchise “Transformers”, and they’ve got the based-on-a-board game sci-fi movie “Battleship” with Peter Berg directing coming out in 2012.

This toy is just so ... wrong.