The Expendables Set To Destroy Your Senses Next August

ExpendablesPicIs anyone else on the planet as insanely excited about Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming action extravaganza “The Expendables” as I am? Somehow, I seriously doubt it. Nevermind that the picture combines the questionable talents of Jason Statham, Jet Li, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin, Randy Couture, and David Zayas into one tasty cinematic stew — I’m ready to witness the long-awaited return of Dolph Lundgren to the big screen. Considering I’ll go out-of-my-way to locate a copy of the guy’s direct-to-video output, you better believe I’ll be in the theater on opening day to witness the glory of Stallone’s balls-out nod to the action genre. Rest assured that I’m painfully aware of how genuinely pathetic all of this makes me sound.

In a move that speaks volumes about the studios confidence in the picture, “The Expendables” has been pushed from its original April 23rd release to a more confident August 20th. And while this date is almost too far away to fully comprehend at the moment, at least I’ll have a few STV Dolph Lundgren flicks to keep me occupied in the meantime. If that’s not enough to satiate my need for cornball action, I guess I could dust off my beloved copy of “Pocket Ninjas.” All apologies to Gary Daniels. You know you’re my boy.