The Expendables Update: Sandra Bullock? Character List? Juliana Paes?

Here is the first of what should be a daily update of Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables”. Why am I promising daily updates of this movie starring a bunch of muscle bound dudes known primarily for blowing stuff up and kicking people in the face at random intervals of their movies? Um, which part of “blowing stuff up and kicking people in the face” don’t you understand? Anyhoo, the latest update for Stallone’s Blow’em-up-palooza has one casting announcement, a possible and intriguing casting choice, and a list of characters that will be showing up in the movie.

First, tells us that someone name Juliana Paes (that’s her to the right — yum) will be joining the cast. They link to the StalloneZone forum, which has a babelfish translation of a Spanish article that is so bad your head will probable explode if you try to read it. Suffice to say, she’s in, and will probably play a hot Latin girl residing in the fictional Latin country that Stallone and the boys are sent down to knock over.

In other news, also from comes an intriguing rumor that Stallone is looking to cast his former “Demolition Man” castmate Sandra Bullock (that’s her to your right again) in the movie. If true, she would probably end up playing a CIA agent who is pursuing Stallone and crew, presumably for going around blowing shit up all the time as previously discussed above. I wonder if they’ll end up having virtual sex again. That was fun the first tie. And enjoy some Taco Bell, of course.

Onward to Moviehole, who has a list of character breakdowns. Not all of them, but quite a bit. The first one is for the Bullock (if she joins up) and Forrest Whittaker characters, and the second one is for the guy that hires Stallone’s demo crew.

Agent Diane Lickson – C.I.A agent, based out of Langley. She’s determined to find out the identities of the hired-contractors (Stallone, Statham, Lundgren etc) but the only video footage they have of the guys is grainy and unwatchable so the facial recognition software is useless. Her colleague, agent Will ‘Willy’ Sands (Forest Whitaker), whose been out of the field for about seven years, is called in to assist her. He’s convinced the team of mercenaries is lead by someone he’s had a previous run-in with.

Church – The man that hires the ‘Expendables’ (run by ‘Barney’ and ‘Christmas’, assumingly the characters played by Stallone and Statham, respectively) to go after General Garza (who essentially runs his own island – described as a human rights graveyard). He’s an older bloke, and has a connection to the young man who Garza has apparently assassinated. This is personal, in other words. He wants Garza killed and his island burnt down. Five million dollars does the trick. (The rumour is, the role was written with Arnold Schwarzenegger in mind).

And that is your “Expendables” movie news update of the day.

See Moviehole for the rest.

Below: “So, Wes, I got this new movie… Oh wait, how long are you in the federal pen for again?”