Upon hearing the title “Lesbian Vampire Killers” a little while back, my mind, as it is wont to do, began filling up with questions, such as: Is this a movie about vampire lesbians? Or is it about lesbians who happen to be the killer of vampires? Perhaps lesbians who only kill vampires who are also lesbians, but for some reason leave the other vampires alone? And on and on. All those questions seem to have been answered with this trailer for “Lesbian Vampire Killers”. And oh yeah, that official synopsis for the movie below also sorta helped out with the movie’s premise, too.
Two no-hopers. One cursed village.
A bus full of foreign female students and an army of salacious lesbian vampires. It’s gonna be one hell of a night!
Eternal slacker Jimmy Maclaren and his friend, Fletch, are enjoying a walking holiday on The Moors. Thanks to an unfortunate series of events, they find themselves stuck in a remote cottage with a camper-van full of sexy foreign student girls, besieged by a hungry army of lascivious lesbian vampires.
Can they make it till dawn or will the Sapphic soul suckers bleed them dry?
The two friends have been sent to this desolate outpost as human sacrifices by the local townspeople – a group of terrified men, whose women have all been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse placed on their village by Carmilla the Lesbian Vampire Queen. Soon after the curse was cast, Carmilla was executed by 17th Century vampire hunter Baron Wolfgang Maclaren … who, by coincidence, was Jimmy’s great, great grandfather.
Back in the cottage, the army of the undead prove they have a bloodlust when the moon is full, matched only by their lust for the flesh of other women! As the pretty travellers are picked off one-by-one, joining the ranks of the undead, Jimmy and student Lotte are captured by the lesbian vampires who plan to use their blood to resurrect the spirit of Carmilla, their Vampire Queen! It’s up to Jimmy’s good-for-nothing best friend Fletch, and his newfound ally – a disgruntled local vicar – to save them all before sunrise.
Armed with the sword of long-dead vampire slayer Wolfgang Maclaren, Fletch and the vicar track down their preternatural prey to Carmilla’s mansion lair, and a life or death battle ensues. Jimmy and the last remaining girl, Lotte, are saved, the vampires slain and their curse lifted forever! Now all that is left for our heroes to do is rebuild their lives and embrace their newfound destiny.
As The Lesbian Vampire Killers!
Starring James Corden, Mathew Horne, MyAnna Buring, Silvia Colloca, Paul McGann, and directed by Phil Claydon.
Wanna know more? The official site has been updated with the trailer and a clever comic book-style adaptation of the film’s plot for ya.
The British horror-comedy opens for business in the UK March 20, 2009. No word on a Stateside release yet.