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Seriously, I hate 3D. As someone who used to wear glasses before discovering the power of Lasik eye surgery (and the money to get it done, natch), I hate the very idea of being forced to sit in a theater for two hours wearing a big, clunky, incredibly uncomfortable pair of “glasses” watching a movie. While the studio bosses are trampling one another to turn every movie into 3D to cash in on the latest trend, I’m hoping and praying this fad dies out in a year or two, but after the success of Cameron’s “Avatar”, that seems highly unlikely.
Over at the Times Online, there is an article about the current 3D fad, and how it’s got Hollywood all in a dizzy. Even Ridley Scott has gotten into the act, getting the studio to shell out an additional $8 million to turn his “Robin Hood” into a 3D adventure. With the technology of today, you can turn just about any movie, regardless of how they were originally shot, into a modern 3D flick. Bobby Jaffe, whose Legend Films is one of only a half dozen companies that can currently convert films into 3D, boasts that his boys can turn any old film into a 3D version within 16 weeks.
Even Peter Jackson wants to get in on the act, and expresses his desire to re-issue his “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in 3D. George Lucas, never one to turn down an opportunity to squeeze yet more blood from the stone that is the original “Star Wars” trilogy, is practically salivating at the idea of the Death Star exploding all over your face in 3D. And while George is raping your precious childhood once again, maybe he can also erase all those hints of pseudo incest in the film. I mean, come on, in hindsight Luke lusting after Leia is just … so wrong.
The trend won’t just be limited to theaters. TV manufactures are already showcasing new 3D-capable high-definition TV, and the first 3D Blu-ray movies are scheduled to land Christmas 2010. So now instead of having to sit through a 3D movie at the theaters wearing your clunky, uncomfortable 3D glasses, you can also sit through a 3D movie in the comforts of your own home … wearing your clunky, uncomfortable 3D glasses.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is a bold new world of movies. Hopefully by 2011 they can invent a new Lasik procedure that can carve 3D vision into my eyeballs, because honestly, I friggin’ hate wearing those glasses.