Toxic Avenger Remake Will Be Socially Aware, PG-13, and Royally Suck Balls

This is old news from Deadline, and I’ve always intended to post it but just never got around to it. But hey, better late than never. Anyhoo, word is that some Hollywood morons — er, I mean, beautiful and brilliant people — are planning to remake Troma’s camp classic “The Toxic Avenger” for a whole new audience. Except this time the Toxic Avenger won’t be busting onto the big screen as an R-rated movie, but instead a PG-13 “family-friendly” movie with social environmental awareness. In other words, Hollywood plans to turn what is essentially a cheapie exploitation flick where a misshapen monster/superhero falls in love with and has sex with a blind girl in-between stuffing bad guys into ovens. Yay for Hollywood!

“The Toxic Avenger” spawned four sequels, a cartoon TV show, and a musical. It was directed by Lloyd Kaufman, the head honcho of Troma, and it’s, well, it’s a pretty shitty movie. But then again, it is a Troma film, so there you have it.

What is a surprise is that Akiva Goldsmith, who has done everything from the “Da Vinci” movies to “A Beautiful Mind”, is involved. Apparently Goldsmith, who was also responsible for the atrocious Joel Schumacher Batman movies, is embracing his camp side, though the idea of turning a purely exploitation franchise into some “Green” film is laughable. Goldsmith will be sharing producing credits on the “Toxic” remake with Charlie Corwin, who runs the ironically named “Original Media”.

Here’s the original trailer for “The Toxic Avenger” for those who have never seen it: