Trailer Park: Secretariat, MacGruber, Survival of the Dead, Splice

Four new trailers, including the premiere of “Secretariat” from Randall Wallace (of “Braveheart” fame), a feature trailer for “MacGruber” minus all the cussing and vulgarity (well, mostly), yet another trailer for George Romero’s “Survival of the Dead” in front of the film’s limited U.S. bow, and another variation on Vincenzo Natali’s “Splice” trailer. Check them out below, check them outers.

Up first is “Secretariat”, starring Diane Lane, Dylan Walsh, and John Malkovich. Honestly, it looks a lot better than I thought it would. Then again, I was never much of a fan of movies about horses ala “Seabiscuit”, etc. Still, it’s got Diane Lane in the lead, and who doesn’t love Diane Lane? If you don’t, then you’re probably a commie. Secretariat takes off October 8th, 2010.

The true story of Secretariat, the legendary horse whose record-breaking Triple Crown win has never been equaled, and his owner Penny Chenery Tweedy, a suburban Denver housewife who breaks through the gender barrier in her single-minded determination to usher her horse to greatness.

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Next is the feature trailer for “MacGruber”. This is definitely a hit-or-miss movie. You either think the trailer is hilarious or you’re probably wondering if it could get any dumber. MacGruber saves the day May 21, 2010. (“MacGruber” poster via Empire.)

Only one American hero has earned the rank of Green Beret, Navy SEAL and Army Ranger. Just one operative has been awarded 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor and 7 presidential medals of bravery. And only one guy is man enough to still sport a mullet. In the 10 years since his fiancee was killed, special op MacGruber has sworn off a life of fighting crime with his bare hands. But when he learns that his country needs him to find a nuclear warhead that’s been stolen by his sworn enemy, Dieter Von Cunth, MacGruber figures he’s the only one tough enough for the job. Assembling an elite team of experts — Lt. Dixon Piper and Vicki St. Elmo — MacGruber will navigate an army of assassins to hunt down Cunth and bring him to justice. His methods may be unorthodox. His crime scenes may get messy. But if you want the world saved right, you call in MacGruber.

Get more images and videos at our “MacGruber” preview page.

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By now if you wanted to see George Romero’s “Survival of the Dead”, you’ve probably already seen it. But for all you procrastinators out there, here’s another feature trailer for the film’s upcoming Stateside release. The zombies march again May 28th, 2010 in limited release.

Off the coast of Delaware sits the cozy Plum Island where two families are locked in a struggle for power, as it has been for generations. The O’Flynn’s, headed by patriarch Patrick O’Flynn (Kenneth Welsh) approach the zombie plague with a shoot-to-kill attitude. The Muldoons, headed by Shamus Muldoon (Richard Fitzpatrick), feel that the zombies should be quarantined and kept ‘alive,’ in hopes that a solution will someday be found. The O’Flynn’s, who are clearly outnumbered, are forced to exile Patrick by boat to the mainland, where he meets up with a cynical band of soldiers, headed by Guardsman Sarge (Alan Van Sprang). They join forces and return to the island, to find that the zombie plague has fully gripped the divided community, and the body count is rising.

Get more images and videos at our “Survival of the Dead” preview page.

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And finally, a slight variation on an old trailer for Vincenzo Natali’s sci-fi thriller “Splice”, starring Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as renegade geneticists who create their own creature. Oh yeah, tell me that’s gonna work out. “Splice” is born in theaters June 4th, 2010.

Clive and Elsa are a pair of brilliant scientists whose cutting-edge experiments in genetic engineering make them superstars in their field. As devoted to their careers as they are to one another, they start conducting unauthorized experiments with new animal species that show great promise. Drunk with their god-like powers, they introduce human DNA into one of their creations, producing a creature that is greater than the sum of its parts: a rapidly developing animal/human hybrid that may be a step up on the evolutionary ladder. While this female creature inspires maternal feelings in Elsa, she evokes something far-from-paternal in Clive, something that poses a threat to them all. Then, when this seemingly perfect organism makes a final, shocking metamorphosis, it is mankind itself that is threatened.