Universal to Reboot American Pie. Are You Kidding Me? American Pie?

Reboot, reboot, reboot — everyday it’s another bloody reboot. The fascinating thing about this increasingly popular trend is that studios are looking to reimagine franchises that nobody really cares about. Why not “reboot” something worthwhile, something that could actually stand a fresh coat of paint and some new crown molding. For instance, I’d love to see another installment in the “Garbage Pail Kids” series, as well as a modern interpretation of “Howard the Duck” and “My Science Project”. Those are franchises people genuinely care about. If they’re resurrected in ultra-trendy 3D, well, that’s a plus, too, isn’t it? I thought you’d agree with me.

All kidding aside, it would appear that Universal is extremely eager to salvage what’s left of their floundering “American Pie” franchise. According to Digital Spy, the studio has hired “Harold and Kumar” scribes Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg to deliver a fourth installment of the series, which, as of late, has consisted mostly of cheap, low-brow direct-to-video titles that have almost nothing in common with the original films. Here’s an idea: Hire these guys to write something new, something altogether different. Fill it with crude humor, teenage sex, and coarse language. But for the love of God, people, come up with something original. Please. I’m begging you, here.

Oh, and if I ever see the words “reboot” and “Stripes” in the same sentence anywhere on the ‘net, you can rest assured that I’ll be very upset. Believe that.