Uwe Boll’s Rampage Isn’t Based On The Arcade Game. Go Figure.

When a friend sent me a link to the trailer for Uwe Boll’s upcoming action flick “Rampage,” I was totally expecting to see a giant werewolf, an enormous gorilla, and a huge lizard savagely destroying several large cities across the United States. What I didn’t expect was a quasi-serious motion picture devoted to an angry, 20-something loser who decides to go on a trigger-happy killing spree. As far as I can tell from the trailer featured below, that’s all the film is about. Uwe Boll, in his infinite cinematic wisdom, has decided that explosions, wanton violence, and a high body count are more important that plotting or characterization. It’s kind of like “Postal,” except it’s dead serious and doesn’t feature Dave Foley’s naked dong.

Even the IMDb synopsis is pretty thin. Take a look:

A man with a thirst for revenge builds a full body armor from Kevlar and goes on a killing spree.

In other words, if you’ve grown insanely tired of watching unstable individuals massacre innocent bystanders on HLN, Uwe Boll has the feature-length movie primed and ready to roll. I think it goes without saying that you’ll have to wait for the DVD to check this one out. Assuming, of course, that you have enough free time on your calendar to watch inane prattle perpetrated by a prolific German director. I know I do.