WB, Smith to Make I am Legend Prequel

They could have just gone ahead and continued the story of mankind’s last stand against a vampire race in an “I am Legend” sequel, which would be the better path, but of course that would take away the one thing movie studios absolutely can’t live without: the tag of a surefire hit. A sequel to “I am Legend” might have made some money, but it wouldn’t have made as much money without Will Smith, seeing as how, you know, Smith’s character got blown to smithereens in the first movie, and you would imagine it would be kinda hard to survive that. So Warner Bros., Smith, and original director Francis Lawrence have come up with a plan — a prequel! Yes, a prequel. You knew it was coming, didn’t you? As soon as you heard the movie had almost no bearing to the original novel, you knew a prequel was coming sooner or later…

Variety explains the WB and Will Smith’s plans to squeeze more money out of you:

The plan is for Smith to reprise his role as scientist Robert Neville, with Francis Lawrence returning to direct. Akiva Goldsman and his Weed Road banner will produce with James Lassiter, Smith’s partner in Overbrook Entertainment.

The studio has set D.B. Weiss to write a script that is based on a detailed outline that was hatched over the past few months by Smith, Goldsman, Lassiter and Lawrence.

The prequel will chronicle the final days of humanity in New York before a man-made virus caused a plague that left Smith’s character the lone survivor among a mutated mob in the city.

Because, you know, it’ll be just as intense to see Will Smith’s Robert Neville character racing against time to save humanity, and wondering with bated breath if he’ll succeed. Even though, er, we know he won’t.

Maybe the WB can spray forgetting gas or some such in the theaters to make us forget how the prequel will end, with Smith failing miserably. Hey, come on, it could happen. The original made $584 worldwide. Surely the WB can afford to invest in some forgetting gas, so when we go see this prequel, we won’t feel like such suckers. Am I right or am I right?

Below: “Yeah, that’s right, this prequel is completely superfluous, but you’ll still go and see it anyway, won’t you? Ha! Suckers!”