Wolverine!!!! Red Dawn Remake In the Works

No, not the feral Canucklehead from up north with the bad ‘tude and claws that can cut through anything. I’m talking about the 1984 “The Russians are coming!” movie called “Red Dawn” by John Milius, that’s currently on the chopping block over at MGM, where “Robocop” is about to lose its head as well. According to The Hollywood Reporter, MGM chiefs Harry Sloan and Mary Parent have confirmed that “Red Dawn” is “a candidate for a remake”.

The original had a group of high school kids (their school’s mascot was the Wolverines) in the Midwest fighting an occupation of their country by Soviet and Cuban forces who quickly and efficiently dispatches of the adults, thus igniting World War III. The kids hide out in the mountains, arm themselves, and commence guerilla style attacks on the occupiers, painting “Wolverines” as their calling card.

Yup, you know what that means. They’re going to completely reverse the jingoistic patriotism of the original “Red Dawn” and turn it into an anti-Iraq War movie. Occupation. Insurgents. Get it? I bet John Milius, who bled red, white and blue back in the day, ain’t gonna like this one bit.

Hollywood, you’re so damn predictable, I want to punch you in the face.

The original starred a bunch of famous A-listers (back in the ’80s, mind you) like Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Grey, Charlie Sheen, and Lea Thompson.