Let’s face it, if you’re still buying movie toys, you better start rehearsing the line, “They’re collectible action figures, and one day I’ll be able to sell them for mucho buckos and buy a rad ‘77 Mustang”, because that way you’ll come across less like a dork and more like the entrepreneuring businessman you want that cute girl sitting across from you in Chem class to think you are. (Hey, that’s how I pick up the ladies!) Of course I might be ready to dump that charade because these Watchmen figures look so great (with the exception of Doctor Manhattan; seriously, WTF?) I especially like the Comedian one. He looks so real you might start to feel unnecessarily brutalized just looking at it.

Toy News International has your specs for the action figures and busts at their site. We’re more concern with the pictures than we are with the specs, because let’s face it, we’re not going to be shelling out money for this stuff. Because, you know, we’re cool and junk.

“Watchmen” opens March 6, 2009.